I know what you're going through--this changes your life in a different way. At least the both of you are going for counseling-I really think our husband's have no respect for the whore they use. So where does that leave us? You must keep in mind that knowledge is power. I read and educated myself with personality differences and compulsive behavior with alcohol. I had fought stage III anal cancer 1 year before my husband met the spider in a bar. Our daughter had an eating disorder and left for college at the same time.He never wanted me to know. What was he thinking-she wanted a companion with a job-not sex glands from some cancer survivor's husband. She was slick-he lied about leaving me after I had surgeries. She knew I was sick-her mom died from cancer, when I found out I sighed ,good luck to her- I had been married for almost 25 yrs. at that time. Called her up and said "I was giving you my problems, but it backfired, he used you and won't leave". He is a narcissist that drinks a lot of beer,used pain pills and cocaine also at that time. We have two grown children-I got to celebrate my cancer survival for a brief time-then fell back with this disaster. I need to hear from you-maybe we can help each other, because like I tell my therapist--- "until you walk in someone's shoes, you really don't know 'til you've been there!!"