am going through a very difficult time. I had been married 10 years, to a husband I thought was a good husband. I walked in the door to find him dressed in womans underwear and bra. I was in total shock. It almost broke up the marrige. He swore he would never do it again. I did come to forgive him, then a year later, I was looking for something in the trunk of the car and came across an entire womans wardrobe. I woke him up , confronted him. He admitted that it was worse than what he said the first time. That he could not let it go. The first time this happened, it put me in the hospital, I have a weak heart and almost died. Yet he continued to do it. I now want a divorce, yet I still love him, and I am just a mess. I have trust issues anyway. He was the only male I ever trusted, and now that is gone. I also see my husband as perverted which does not help. Turns out he ha done this all through our marrige!! Lying for 10 years! Hes not the man I thought he was all these years. I even tried to tell him,well if wanted to do it in the bedroom just so he wasnt hiding it from me, but nooo , he said it was a thing that was his own, and admits its selfish , but swears this time its done. That he knows I want a divorce and he does not want to loose his family. But now I question if he even loves me. WE have grown distant, and when he tries now to be close, I feel disgusted by him. We have a young daughter and that does not help, and if I was to leave, I am very sick, and can not work, where would I go. I would have a 7 year old with no home. I am having a hard time this time. I just can not forgive him for deceiving me. I am to broken. I do not feel he love me, though he thinks he does. I do not trust one thing he says now. I want to leave. We tried therapy last year, and it wouldnt work because he said it wasnt a problem. Now he admits it is , but I feel its too late. He almost killed me ,from the shock the first time. I have been sicker ever since and never healed. I came from a sexually abusive family, as it was. I have been parylized from a flu shot for a year, I have dangerous heart problems, and I am allergic to all opiate pain meds, and in constant pain, ... Now I have to deal with this. I do not understand why God would put so much on my plate. I pray and pray and never get help or answers. I dont know what to do rite now. I should mention his dressing is a sexual fetish, not the wish to be a woman. I have lost all trust. Anyway, if anyone has any advice I sure can use it. I am a mess, and my heart just can not take anymore and i am afraid I am going to die. I feel trapped. Also, he does not believe in God, and we can not work that venue together.