Anonymous: Coming from a woman's perspective (I am a woman), I think you as the leader of your house need to do everything you can to get your wife the counseling and/or medical help she needs. You are not the only one missing out on this wonderful experience- she is too. God designed this act to bring literal union between a husband and wife, and she may not realize it but she is depriving herself of the security and affirmation that comes with uniting in marraige. There may be some serious underlying issues that are too painful to face, especially if she is unwilling to open up to a counselor. There are solutions- meds can help one's sex drive, a doctor can help with the cause of physical pain, and a counselor can help with the emotional pain. DO NOT LOOK AT PORN OR ANY OTHER WOMAN. My husband has admitted to this even though we have a very active sex life. It diminishes trust and completely kills sex drive all together- something you really don't want. Even if you don't tell her, she can "sense" it, like I did, and her suspision alone can cause problems. She needs to be involved in EVERY sexual experience you have and it won't be a burden if you see to it that she is not overwhelmed with other responsibilities. Women desire to be more than images, so no, looking at an image of her is no good. It is actually debasing her to a piece of flesh rather than a person- your wife. And if the pictures fell into the wrong hands, it could be devastating. What if you both died in a car accident and her parents had to go through your belongings? Not good. Take your focus off yourself right now and focus completely on your wife. Give her tons of non-sexual touch- rub her back, kiss her, hug her, hold her hand and tell her how beautiful she is. Help out as much as you can with the baby too- you should never be sitting if she is still working. If you want to be sex partners you have to be partners in everything. Tell her you love her and want to see someone. Then YOU set the appointment (with a woman counselor) get the babysitter and drive her there, reminding her the whole way that you love her and want to help her (not you). I hope this helps and I will be praying for you and your wife. Remember, she is missing out too.