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| Moderated by: truthseeker, bil4913 | Page:   ... 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157   |
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| Daily accountability | Rate Topic |
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| Posted: Sun Feb 5th, 2012 06:59 pm |
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3061st Post |
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TM2 Member
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This is certainly reasonable. In 12-step meetings, there is also very little explicit discussion of the details of our addictive acting out, in order not to trigger others. Tim M.
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| Posted: Sun Feb 5th, 2012 08:28 pm |
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3062nd Post |
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Man Member
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Hi, can someone fix the technical problems on this site? I can't see a new Post Reply when it's turning page. Best regards
____________________ May the Lord bless you all! |
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| Posted: Tue Feb 7th, 2012 07:44 am |
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3063rd Post |
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Tired of the Same Dance Member
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Well I am back to day 1. I had a really rough day with work, anger, stress, lack of sleep because of working 12 hour days, missing my family and wanting this deployment over with. I left myself wide open for Satan to put thoughts in my mind, my mind dwelled on this thoughts, that took action in my dream that became an acting out. I prayed to God and asked him to forgive me and then emailed my wife and asked her to forgive me. When I got on my FB page, I saw this; The Bible Ephesians 4:26-28 If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin, and do not stay angry all day. Don't give the Devil a chance. If you used to rob, you must stop robbing and start working, in order to earn an honest living for yourself and to be able to help the poor. (GNT) I let my anger stay with me all day. I put on a fake face so those around me would leave me alone. I didn't make an attempt to see my chaplain and I just kept it bottled up inside. I came back to my room and couldn't sleep, so I searched, and found and invisioned, putting back in my memory bank, went to sleep without praying and had a wet dream from it. I feel ashamed and not worthy to ask for forgiveness from God. But that is what the Devil wants. He wants me to keep it all to myself and get me back to where I was before. But even though I failed, I'm not going to let it get me down. I'm going to start over again and take it one day at a time. I'm only human and not perfect. This is going to take the rest of my life to defeat this but I still give God the glory, honor and praise. He gives us free choice and I am accepting my actions for the choice that I made. Thanks for letting me share. Tired
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| Posted: Tue Feb 7th, 2012 07:49 pm |
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3064th Post |
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Man Member
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Tired, I have some questions for you. Please answer only if you want. Don't answer for my sake. How does it help you in your recovery to focus a lot on others, i.e satan? What are your goals? What do you want to achieve in your life? Sorry if not being friendly. Best regards
____________________ May the Lord bless you all! |
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| Posted: Wed Feb 8th, 2012 12:56 pm |
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3065th Post |
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TM2 Member
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Welcome back, Tired. Great honesty. Slips are something that happen in recovery, to most of us, at least. It sounds like you're doing a good job making use of this one, trying to analyze what feelings led to the slip, figuring out what to do next time, getting honest about what happened. In many ways, handling a slip right is the mark of how we're doing. As I read you post, I'm reminded of an acronym that's common in addiction recovery circles: HALT. Times many of us are particularly vulnerable are when we're Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. Those are times when we need to be especially careful to be aware of our feelings and to keep connecting with others and with God. It sounds like that's part of what you learned. Keep coming back. Tim M.
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| Posted: Thu Feb 9th, 2012 12:12 am |
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3066th Post |
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guitarist63 Member
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Thank you, Tired, for the honesty to admit that you have sinned again. I think that if we dwell on sexual things before we sleep, our dreams can be influenced by our conscious thoughts but not always. Last edited on Wed Feb 15th, 2012 06:10 pm by guitarist63 |
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| Posted: Thu Feb 9th, 2012 02:00 pm |
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3067th Post |
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Man Member
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My experience is that I can get wet-dreams when looking at porn just berfore.
____________________ May the Lord bless you all! |
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| Posted: Wed Feb 15th, 2012 06:11 pm |
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3068th Post |
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guitarist63 Member
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I am keeping away from trouble.
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25th, 2012 06:42 pm |
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3069th Post |
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Tired of the Same Dance Member
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Since my last post I was doing well but I fell back into viewing porn and masturbating for a week after I was loading a friends exteral hard drive with movies and found his porn collection. I was like a lost friend that I haven't seen in so long and I brought it back home. I went to town viewing and filling my mind with it to make up for lost time. And even though I knew it was wrong I was making a choice to view it and not repent because I knew I was just going to go back to it. But this past Thursday after my last self indulgent, I said no more. I have been down this road and I know where it leads. I deleted all the videos that I downloaded, prayed, repented and ask for God's forgiveness. I feel much better now and I am just taking it one day at a time. I made it so far once before and looking forward to doing it again. Again I am not perfect, I am human and God gives us the choice to do what is right. I am back to wanting to do that and give him honor and praises that I know will make him proud of me. Thanks for letting me share and sorry I was gone for so long. Tired.
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25th, 2012 07:54 pm |
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3070th Post |
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Man Member
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Tired of the Same Dance wrote: Since my last post I was doing well but I fell back into viewing porn and masturbating for a week after I was loading a friends exteral hard drive with movies and found his porn collection. I was like a lost friend that I haven't seen in so long and I brought it back home. I went to town viewing and filling my mind with it to make up for lost time. And even though I knew it was wrong I was making a choice to view it and not repent because I knew I was just going to go back to it. But this past Thursday after my last self indulgent, I said no more. I have been down this road and I know where it leads. I deleted all the videos that I downloaded, prayed, repented and ask for God's forgiveness. I feel much better now and I am just taking it one day at a time. I made it so far once before and looking forward to doing it again. Again I am not perfect, I am human and God gives us the choice to do what is right. I am back to wanting to do that and give him honor and praises that I know will make him proud of me. Tired, thanks for sharing. I want to challenge you? What is your goal? Is it to go as long as possible without acting out? (You write this in your post: "I made it so far once before and looking forward to doing it again.") So, how's life in Afghanistan?
____________________ May the Lord bless you all! |
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26th, 2012 08:02 am |
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3071st Post |
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andorr Member
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I am struggling with masturbation and porn. Now is Sunday morning, I had not orgasm since some days (this is much for me). I feel I cannot resist. Masturbation and porn are disgusting sins, I know it. Jesus said, looking at woman with desire is adultery in the Heart. I know this, but I think I cannot resist, I feel myself disgusting  I am writing here, but I am watching women in other window, too
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26th, 2012 08:33 am |
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3072nd Post |
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Man Member
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andorr: Thanks for sharing... Last edited on Sun Feb 26th, 2012 08:35 am by Man ____________________ May the Lord bless you all! |
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26th, 2012 08:08 pm |
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3073rd Post |
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Man Member
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For me it is not very interesting, I think whether a man has one day of not acting out or thousand years of not acting out as long as this man is nice, friendly and so. That's what's interesting for me, I think. If that person is self-centered and hypocritical and has focus on how good he/ she is, it might not be very interesting for me. Best regards
____________________ May the Lord bless you all! |
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| Posted: Fri Mar 2nd, 2012 05:16 pm |
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3074th Post |
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Man Member
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Congratulation with new lay-out. Slips: Anyone has something to say about that. Sometimes I might not be really if I slipped or not, but I maybe did that recently. Last edited on Fri Mar 2nd, 2012 05:17 pm by Man ____________________ May the Lord bless you all! |
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| Posted: Sun Mar 4th, 2012 01:51 pm |
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3075th Post |
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Man Member
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Yesterday I felt I did something wrong. I was on a 12-step-meeting and at least it was only one young woman and I. I felt I did something stupid and it wasn't very well functioning. It was only the two of us at least. Maybe it wasn't very smart to put myself in that situation. It could be smart in one way to have groups with men and women separated? Rhetorical questions maybe.
____________________ May the Lord bless you all! |
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| Posted: Wed Mar 7th, 2012 05:58 pm |
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3076th Post |
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Man Member
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I seem to act out all the time. It's escaping maybe? It's a sharing. Don't need to be fixed. Best regards Last edited on Wed Mar 7th, 2012 06:10 pm by Man ____________________ May the Lord bless you all! |
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| Posted: Wed Mar 14th, 2012 04:22 pm |
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3077th Post |
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Man Member
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Acting out again. Stress or many things might have pushed me. The body reacted sexually when looking. Maybe someone has something to say about slips?, but again; I am not here to be fixed by others. If you have positive and constructive questions or you have something to say about the subject yourself, please feel free to share. What might not help me vey much are comments like: "Don't loose courage". Then I might be more interested in how to do that than just "Don't do it.". "Don't do it" might not help me so much. It's instructive, and I think it doesn't help me very much, but of course everything that might help me to get positive things might be good and welcome. Of course if I get something I don't want, I might be better to just leave it, but I might not be good enough on that.. Thanks Best
____________________ May the Lord bless you all! |
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| Posted: Thu Mar 15th, 2012 09:36 am |
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3078th Post |
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Man Member
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When I slip, it could be that I have thought something and acted on that, come into despair and needed a fix. The best things might be to change those thoughts? and I have a proof in the slip? If I don't see some consequences, I might not believe in it, and if I don't tell anybody, it might be difficult to believe in it?
____________________ May the Lord bless you all! |
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| Posted: Thu Mar 15th, 2012 08:00 pm |
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3079th Post |
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TM2 Member
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For me, it is certainly useful to pay attention to my thoughts and to be able to let go of those thoughts when they are thoughts that are going to lead me to acting out. As a former sponsor of mine says, the brain is the largest sex organ. Tim M.
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| Posted: Fri Mar 16th, 2012 03:54 pm |
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3080th Post |
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Man Member
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Now I am struggling very much, so if anyone want to pray for me, feel free.
____________________ May the Lord bless you all! |
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