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LoveSick4God
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Posted: Tue Jan 27th, 2009 03:58 am |
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Day 9:
I'm still feeling strong inside, feeling loved by God and I don't want to give up this fight for my freedom. I haven't shared my struggles with my dear friend quite yet, please pray about it, I need strength and wisdom for God's timing on the situation.
I want to try and take some steps to mending my father's and my relationship with one another, but there's a lot of hurt and woundedness there. When I first dedicated my life to God I was constantly listening to teachings, reading the Bible and books and just constantly feeding myself on wisdom for God. So I would share some of these things with my dad, but he would only challenge my every word and try to correct everythings I said. Sure he may have been right, but it still hurt. It felt like he didn't care about the fact that I discovered something or that I had a revelation. I'm still to this day being healed from some of those wounds, I feel like I'm a dissapointment to I'm sometimes. He rarely tells me he loves me, maybe once a year if that. And sure I know he loves me deep down, but if I'm not reminded by him I can forget, feeling like he's always upset with me or like he doesn't notice me or who I am.
I don't know if my dad really even knows me, I know that I don't know him, he never shares things about himself and isn't that great with relationships. But I know God can heal the most broken of hearts and I need prayer and advice and suggestions on the matter.
I am very eager and burning inside to tell my friend about my struggles, I just need the opportunity, so I appreciate all your prayers. Thank you all so much!
-LoveSick4God
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truthseeker
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Posted: Tue Jan 27th, 2009 11:46 am |
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Hi LSFG,
Hopefully there are a few ways in which your father is a good example/role model. You might try mentioning a couple of them in a note or card. (Valentine's is coming up.) You could also ask, in writing or in person, if the two of you could go do something special together once a month or so--bowling, fishing, whatever interests at least one of you that the other can endure, or hopefully something you would both like. The risk, of course, is that he might be unresponsive to your praise, and/or decline to spend special time with you, though I am praying otherwise.
Neither of my parents were believers as I grew up, and God was gracious, as with your friend, to send me spiritual mentors/parents. There are certain levels on which I have connected with my parents, but spiritual matters have not been one of them, but the special people God has put in my life have given me those in whom I can confide struggles and with whom I can share victories.
Above all, it is God's affirmation of His love for you in Christ that is the foundation of solid rock that will never change.
TruthSeeker
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LoveSick4God
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Posted: Wed Jan 28th, 2009 03:24 am |
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Day 10:
I stayed strong today. I had some tough temptations around 6:00 p.m. Buri asked God for strength and stayed strong. I need prayer for strength, as always. God has been refreshing my heart with His love and goodness lately and I love it!
I have been kind of stressed lately due to my anticipation to share my struggles with my friend. I'm going to possibly see him tomorrow, and I hope something will happen. I know I shouldn't be stressed and that I should have peace and trust Gods timing, but I just feel like if I don't get these things off of my chest I'm going to expload inside. I need prayer, as you can see. But God has been goodto me and I'm staying free and I'm NOT going to give up!
-LoveSick4God
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LoveSick4God
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Posted: Wed Jan 28th, 2009 04:26 pm |
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| I really do want my relationship with my father to be mended, but I feel like deep down I don't even have a desire to spend time with him or to talk win him. I know that it's probably a lot of hurt talking and I need healing, but I just feel like I don't even want our relationship to grow. It just make things even harder because I know I have to make the first move and I really don't have the desire to do so, so I need to me healed and totally forgive him before I can do that. And j donn know what to do, I'm kind of lost in the whole situation, but I know God will take care of me and gladly heal me if I just seek after it and give him all my brokenness.
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truthseeker
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Posted: Wed Jan 28th, 2009 05:41 pm |
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Hi LSFG,
Yes, it may need time for healing.
When I was your age my father left my mom for another woman. Needless to say, I was quite an angry young lady, and it is a miracle that Satan did not gain a foothold in the midst of my hurt and anger. A year and a half later, God showed me, through the story of the woman at the well, that if he would forgive my dad, how could I do any less. When I told God that I understood what He wanted me to do, but thought conjuring a forgiving feeling would be a lie, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart that forgiveness is an act of the will, and that if I would behave forgivingly, He would bring my heart along in due time. I did, and He did.
TruthSeeker
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LoveSick4God
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Posted: Thu Jan 29th, 2009 04:01 am |
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Day 11:
It was much easier today than yesterday. God really touched my life today. I am ready for everything that he has for me and I want to have the patience to wait for it also. When I was still stuck in sin God told me after I had gone to my addiction, "this sin doesn't deserve you." It is so true that we are worth far too much to God to just give ourselves so freely to soul-contaminating sin. Well it's just something that God shares with me and I just remembered today about it, and thought I'd share.
God is so good and I've felt a continual grace for staying clean and sober, but I don't want to get too cocky of course, I need to continually humble myalself before God. I also was thinking today of how I really don't feel ashamed any more that I have been addicted to masturbaion and pornography. I still have a ways to go, but all in all I don't feel ashamed about it anymore. Which or course is another reason in why I want to share my struggles with it friend so badly. I k ow that it's much easier said than done but ahhhhhhhhhhhhh how I want to get these things off of my shoulders and to get help and prayer from him. I know sharing with him won't solve everything, but definatly a whole lot! I need more patience, I'm getting anxious!!!
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LoveSick4God
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Posted: Thu Jan 29th, 2009 04:06 am |
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| Truthseeker, I will definatly need much healing. I really love my dad but I just feel so closed up with him and I seriously don't think he even knows who I am deep down. Only nits about my personality because we never spend time together. He has always expected us to make our own decisions and take full care of ourselves. Which is why I am way more mature than my age, which can be a great and sometimes bad thing. He doesn't like to leave the house, he works here at home on his computer, and I am the exact opposite, I'm very mobile. So it's hard to relate to him sometimes because I feel like he doesn't really know that I'm differant from him and that he shouldn't act like I'm his mirror because I'm not. God help me!
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LoveSick4God
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Posted: Fri Jan 30th, 2009 04:49 pm |
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Day 12:
It was a bit of a struggle today, temptations were definatly a struggle, but God helped me to get through. I did also tell my dear friend that I need to talk with him about something extremely important, so hopefully we can both talk soon, be praying for that. I've also been having some disturbing dreams and I'm asking God to heal my mind and heart. Well everyone out there, keep staying strong, it's worth the fight. Definatly!!!
LoveSick4God
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Man
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Posted: Fri Jan 30th, 2009 10:43 pm |
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LoveSick4God wrote: Day 11:
It was much easier today than yesterday. God really touched my life today. I am ready for everything that he has for me and I want to have the patience to wait for it also. When I was still stuck in sin God told me after I had gone to my addiction, "this sin doesn't deserve you." It is so true that we are worth far too much to God to just give ourselves so freely to soul-contaminating sin. Well it's just something that God shares with me and I just remembered today about it, and thought I'd share.
God is so good and I've felt a continual grace for staying clean and sober, but I don't want to get too cocky of course, I need to continually humble myalself before God. I also was thinking today of how I really don't feel ashamed any more that I have been addicted to masturbaion and pornography. I still have a ways to go, but all in all I don't feel ashamed about it anymore. Which or course is another reason in why I want to share my struggles with it friend so badly. I k ow that it's much easier said than done but ahhhhhhhhhhhhh how I want to get these things off of my shoulders and to get help and prayer from him. I know sharing with him won't solve everything, but definatly a whole lot! I need more patience, I'm getting anxious!!!
Hi LoveSick4God, I want to ask you something: It seems to me that you think you hear a lot from God, that He shows you things. Am I right. How? Another thing that I notice is that it seems to me that you explain a lot: "I need to humble myself" for example. How do you thinnk that works? Does it help you? Does it help you to tell yourself what you shall do?
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LoveSick4God
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Posted: Sat Jan 31st, 2009 12:31 am |
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All Gods sheep hear his voice is what it says in the Binle and I will believe everything said in the Bible, therefore I know that God speaks to me. He shows me things by the Holy Spirit, which is usually like a feeling inside, or a small voice in my head which closely resembles a thought, but has more power begins it. And for that reason it is sometimes hard to discern whether it's my thoughts or his voice, but I'm learning to tell the differance. And the Bible also says "blessed are the meek (humble) for they shall inherit the earth" so that's why I think it's helpful to be humble and not to get prideful about myself or anything I do. And this is something I'm trying to do, I.e. I still have a LONG ways to go, I still struggle with pride, I think we all do. And i'm only answering your questions, I have no intent on making myself look good or arguing, thanks.
LoveSick4God
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Man
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Posted: Sat Jan 31st, 2009 10:35 pm |
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LoveSick4God wrote: And for that reason it is sometimes hard to discern whether it's my thoughts or his voice, but I'm learning to tell the differance.
LoveSick4God
How? Do you have any tools?
LoveSick wrote:
"And the Bible also says "blessed are the meek (humble) for they shall inherit the earth" so that's why I think it's helpful to be humble and not to get prideful about myself or anything I do. And this is something I'm trying to do, I.e. I still have a LONG ways to go, I still struggle with pride, I think we all do. And i'm only answering your questions, I have no intent on making myself look good or arguing, thanks."
How do you like to be teached? As far as I can see you teach yourself, telling yourself certain things: How do you think that teaching helps you? (I am not asking the type of teaching, only how you think that teaching helps you if it helps?)
And another thing: Explanations: How do you like that? If people explains you long things about "how it is"? Do you like it?
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LoveSick4God
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Posted: Sun Feb 1st, 2009 08:37 pm |
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Man, I "teach myself" by reading the Bible and taking advice from other people who have walked with God and learned from the Bible. For me, it's important to learn from others and the things that they advise me with. So I guess to answer your quesion, I teach myself by listening to Holy Spirit inside of me and by life experiances and others.
"tools to discerning my thoughts or God's voice:
I can usually tell just by how it makes me feel inside (disturbed, uneasy, or peacful, confident) and if I can't discern by my feelings I try to ask myself if it lines up with the Bible or if it contradicts God's Word.
And I don't mind it when people give me explainations, sometimes I mind it, but I'm getting better about it. It bothers me if it seems, like you said; people are just shaing their knowledge to build themselves up or to gain some kind of confidence in their own knowledge, rather than trying to help me or truly caring about me and what I'm going through. But I try not to speculate as to what's behind their intentions, I try to just read what they write or hear what they say and use all the advice I can and get all I can out of it without guessing that "there must be something behind what they're saying." So I don't mind explainations. Even if someones just giving adice to make themselves look good, that doesn't have to stop me from taking their good advice (if it is good advice of course).Last edited on Sun Feb 1st, 2009 08:37 pm by LoveSick4God
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LoveSick4God
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Posted: Sun Feb 1st, 2009 08:50 pm |
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Day 13:
Went okay, well I guess it just "went" more like. I had a huge struggle before I went to bed, but God helped me through it and I felt a lot stronger the next day. I almos lostthe fight but I stays strong with Gods help I course. I definatl need prayer, I also think the devil didn't want me to make it to two weeks.
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LoveSick4God
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Posted: Sun Feb 1st, 2009 08:56 pm |
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Day 14 (week 2):
It was a lot easier today than yesterday. I didn't struggle much at all, it was a peacful and joyous day. I felt totally rewarded for not giving in to masturbation or pornography the previous day. God has been good to me but please keep me I your prayers, I don't want to give up or give in to temptations, even the slightest ones. I made it to two weeks, thank God. I wouldn't have been able to do it if it wasn't for all of your prayers and encouragment and if it wasn't for the grace of God and this website also helped me a great deal. Thanks to everyone, I love you all!!!Last edited on Sat Feb 7th, 2009 02:28 pm by LoveSick4God
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truthseeker
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Posted: Sun Feb 1st, 2009 09:09 pm |
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Rejoicing with you! :-)
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guitarist63
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Posted: Sun Feb 1st, 2009 10:00 pm |
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Congratulations, Lovesick4God at passing the two week milestone. I'll pray you'll keep going on with God's enabling power to rely on all the way.
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Man
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Posted: Sun Feb 1st, 2009 10:39 pm |
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LoveSick4God wrote:I definatl need prayer, I also think the devil didn't want me to make it to two weeks.
How long do you think he wants you to go?
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Man
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Posted: Sun Feb 1st, 2009 10:45 pm |
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Be blessed LoveSick! and thanks for our answers!!
Last edited on Sun Feb 1st, 2009 10:46 pm by Man
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LoveSick4God
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Posted: Mon Feb 2nd, 2009 01:25 am |
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| Man, Well I dont think he wants me to go a day, which I already have. By t just seems that when you make it to a week or month or any kind or milestone that it gets a little harder to stand. Temptations have always seemed stonger when I make it to a week or month. For some reason it was extremely hard to get past 4 days, dunno why.
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Man
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Posted: Mon Feb 2nd, 2009 07:15 am |
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LoveSick4God wrote: Man, Well I dont think he wants me to go a day, which I already have. By t just seems that when you make it to a week or month or any kind or milestone that it gets a little harder to stand. Temptations have always seemed stonger when I make it to a week or month. For some reason it was extremely hard to get past 4 days, dunno why.
"..when you make it to a week..."
Do you know how it is for me?
I wonder how it is for YOU?
Thanks
Last edited on Mon Feb 2nd, 2009 07:18 am by Man
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