| Author | Post |
|---|
Lost2009
Member
|
Posted: Tue Nov 10th, 2009 02:58 pm |
|
For all who have already passed the initial recovery stage, what was it and what needed to happen in order for you to stop lying to your loved ones and yourselves, making excuses and blaming others or outside factors?
Any and all help is appreciated.
|
bil4913
Administrator
|
Posted: Tue Nov 10th, 2009 06:32 pm |
|
A number of things have helped me. Most crucial was/is a peer group of men and women who struggle with the same issues I struggle with. Hearing their honesty and progress challenges and inspires me.
|
Lost2009
Member
|
Posted: Tue Nov 10th, 2009 07:09 pm |
|
| Thank you, I appreciate your response.
|
TM2
Member
| Joined: | Thu Jan 8th, 2009 |
| Location: | Rural Midwest, USA |
| Posts: | 473 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |    |
|
Posted: Tue Nov 10th, 2009 08:40 pm |
|
Lying/hiding was much more of an issue than making excuses and blaming others.
I needed a very hard-nosed sponsor, a lot of assurance that only through rigorous honesty was recovery possible, and a desperation born from really hitting bottom that convinced me that recovery was the central task in my life and the prerequisite for my continued survival.
Tim M.
|
Lost2009
Member
|
Posted: Tue Nov 10th, 2009 10:30 pm |
|
I am similar to you TM2
I recently hit rock bottom really hard this year and I have been trying very hard to beat this and I feel like I made major break throughs this year from stopping to look at porn but still fell into the issue replaying the movies in my head and maturbating for a few months afterwords. I stopped that as well but my deepest issue is the core of my addiction the lying. I recently wrote a letter to my wife about my lying for 8 years and it was the hardest thing to do in my life.
I tried so hard to be honest and I did in the letter but for so many years of lying I did leave out a part of the masturbation for the months that I did stop watching porn but would replay it in my head. I honestly did forget and so many years of lying and my horrible anger and verbal abuse and mental abuse towards my wife and my son has really taken a toll in there lives.
My biggest regret was not getting help and trying this on my own. I could of beaten this along time ago. My wife was great on trying to help but I would deny her and hurt her more. I am at a point that I am getting to my deepest problem which is at times reacting like a child when questioned and I lie and then I hurt my wife again. I try but I lack for most the motivation only until now that everything feels like its falling apart.
I want to be honest and not defensive and lie. I will going to my first SAA meeting this Saturday and I am praying more and I will be going back to church more. Thats only the beginning of therapy for my family and my self. I find my self feeling alone in my addiction and I just need help to guide my soul to a better place. I dont want to loose my family and I have shown to them that I dont care and I do and I want to make a stand againts everything that I feel inside of me that is hodling me back.
|
Current time is 02:10 am | |
|
RSS