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The Fight Inside
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 5th, 2009 |
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Posted: Thu Nov 19th, 2009 07:29 pm |
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Hey guys I'm looking for an accountability partner for this course that I'm taking. I've never had one before and I think that it would really help me with my struggles. Thank you. 
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jhoeyd
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| Joined: | Mon Apr 26th, 2010 |
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Posted: Fri Jun 18th, 2010 09:45 am |
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I am looking for one also, I am a 29 year old who after recovery from a three story fall just got re-enrolled in classes at the University of Texas, and i found a girl who accepts all my disabilities from my injury. However, I am keeping my sexual lust, masturbation, and daily porn viewing a total secret, like it never occured, i just do it then push it away and ignore it, thinking God will forgive me, or i think, "Ahh, its only masturbation no big deal. I desperately need help, I would really help you with accountability, and you could help me, this cycle is grotesque and disrupting my life, and could destroy everything GOD has given me, fiance; another shot to graduate UT Austin, TX. Please pray for me brother, and likewise I will pray for you, for GOD to help us break this sinful, destructive, eroding, and eventually condemning me! Please pray for me and I will pray for you! I am not sure about how comfortable you are about sharing e-mail, but here is mine:
Joey_Dennis@mail.utexas.edu
I would appreciate your prayers, accountability, and assistance. With determination, prayer, support, effort, and GOD'S divine intervention and supernatural aid! THANK YOU BROTHER!
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TM2
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| Joined: | Thu Jan 8th, 2009 |
| Location: | Rural Midwest, USA |
| Posts: | 473 |
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Posted: Fri Jun 18th, 2010 02:45 pm |
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Welcome, TFI and jhoeyd!
Do you mind a couple of thoughts from somebody who's been at this a while?
First, a technical thing: Probably the best way to trade e-mail addresses is to send personal messages to one another on the board. (Click on the other user's name and select "Send a Private Message"). That way you don't have your address sitting out in the open waiting to be harvested by bots, which may not be a good idea. You might want to edit your post.
Second, a couple of thoughts on accountability partners: having a friend from a board like this to trade mail with can be a useful step, but I'd like to suggest that there are additional steps that are even more important.
Any addiction is about hiding and isolation and shame, but this addiction most of all. Recovery therefore has to be about learning to trust other people and to share ourselves honestly with them. That may include people online, but I think it has to include real people we meet face-to-face. Learning to interact honestly with the people around us has to be part of our lives. Why not seek out face-to-face accountability now?
Further, I think we need more than accountability partners. If I'm starting out to learn how to do something, I want fellow students I can work with, but I also want somebody who actually knows how to do the thing I'm learning. This is why it's so important to meet and work with other recovering addicts in places like 12-step fellowships, to get a sponsor, to work the steps, and to work with people like professional counselors so that we can come to know ourselves.
So wonderful, help one another here; but I hope that will be a beginning and that you will also do more.
Of course, in talking about openness with the people around us, I'm not talking about introducing ourselves as sex addicts to everyone we meet. We need to be discreet, both for ourselves and for others. In my case, the people who know I'm a sex addict are my wife and kids, my mother and sisters, some clergy, counselors I or family members have worked with, my physician, my meditation teacher, and about half a dozen close friends. And, of course, the members of my SAA and SLAA meetings. For me, that's about the right number of people. Of course, that's not how I started out. Those disclosures got made over a number of years, as people needed to know or as it seemed important to share.
In any case, welcome! You're starting a hard but incredibly blessed journey. May you find the freedom you seek.
Tim M.
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neverquit
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| Joined: | Tue Dec 14th, 2010 |
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Posted: Tue Dec 14th, 2010 10:41 pm |
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Hey guy's, This is all new to me. I am also looking for a accountability partner. God Bless everyone here... and never give up. God started a good thing in us. He won't let us down.
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SCMissionsGuy
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| Joined: | Tue Dec 14th, 2010 |
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Posted: Fri Dec 24th, 2010 04:39 am |
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Hello everyone, I am struggling with my personal thought life and with internet
pornography. I have internet filters but I am still dealing with the thought life, desires,
etc. I find myself trying to circumvent the filters and will do so for hours just to find
something, anything. I was heavy into pornography several years ago, but I still feel
the strain and desire more than ever. What makes it hard is that I feel like I am living
a personal lie, that noone knows who I really am. I constantly feel guilty, even if I have
not done anything at all.
Freedom and a change of mindset is what I want.
Prayer would be appreciated.
Blessings,
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TM2
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| Joined: | Thu Jan 8th, 2009 |
| Location: | Rural Midwest, USA |
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Posted: Sat Dec 25th, 2010 10:24 pm |
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SCMissionsGuy,
Welcome!
One thing I think Internet filters show us is that our problem isn't really with our computers, but with our souls. Attempting to fix my problem by changing how my computer works is working at the wrong level. After all, I was an addict long before the Internet existed.
And while the prayers of others obviously have value, do also take your own words to heart: part of what makes it hard is living a lie and confiding in no one. As the program slogan says, we are only as sick as our secrets. Finding ways to stop living in secrecy and instead to admit who we are is a huge step in recovery. Working with support people who really understand addiction and recovery - for many people, both professional counselors and our fellow addicts in 12-step or other support groups - is really a central source of hope and a critical piece of learning a whole new way of life, which is what letting go of our addictive patterns requires. So as you solicit our prayers, also don't fail to listen to yourself and to your own experience.
People find freedom from all kinds of addictions every day, but it's hard and scary work, just as hard and scary for us as for alcohol or drug addicts. We need to use all the tools they need.
May you find a way out of the secrecy and isolation and into a new life!
Tim M.
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EnewD
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Posted: Tue Jan 4th, 2011 01:26 pm |
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I would agree although never having used a filter,because as said your not fixing what's inside you and anything with passwords is easily reversed when desperate for that release. And there are MANY ways to get pornography so you will always find it if you really want to,that's why we must start by changing the inside read God's word daily or at least follow a devotion daily and pray daily etc.
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Brett
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| Joined: | Sat Apr 9th, 2011 |
| Location: | California USA |
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Posted: Tue Apr 12th, 2011 10:17 am |
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| Hello, I'm a nineteen year old guy who is also looking for an accountability partner. I don't really remember when I started being addicted to porn but I do know that it had happened by the time I graduated from middle school (by the way, I wasn't a Christian until maybe my sophomore year of highschool so I've literally been a porn addict longer than I've been a Christian). There's been a few times before when I tried seriously to quite but each time I failed and I think trying to struggle through it on my own was a huge reason for the failure. I've recently been doing poorly in my classes as well and for a long time I've seen a connection between my sexual addictions and my bad academic habits so this semester has been a wake-up call for me. I see a lot of people recommending confession and interraction with people the addict actually knows but that is honestly not a step I'm willing to take at this point (though I realize I could only be delaying it) and twelve step programs don't work for me both because of my schedule and because of transportation issues. Please contact me if you want to partner up.
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“You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations--these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit...
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