New Member at 23 days and doing well so far
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jrock123
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Joined: Sat Dec 26th, 2009
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Mana: 
 Posted: Wed Dec 30th, 2009 02:12 am
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23 days with no P or MB. still going fairly strong. I've let my mind wonder slightly the last day after seeing a brief video where there was a scene with women in bikinis but was able to stop it there. I never had the urge for porn but I did find myself wanting to see more women in bikinis. I had actually filled in the word bikinis in the google search bar, but then walked away. with the kids on christmas break, my wife and I have not had any alone time. I am dying to make love with her but there has not been an opportunity. One thing I am realizing about being porn and MB free is that in the last 3 weeks, my desire for her is increasing. when knee deep in porn, I didn't find her attractive and didn't like to see her naked. Now I cherish it. I am thankful for this as at one point I started to think I might be falling out of love and thought that our remaining years would be without sex. My skewed view was "oh well, at least I have porn." Amazing that I could be that blind but I guess that's what an addiction does to you. I also remember thinking that I simply had no control so I just enjoyed porn and figured that was it for the rest of my life.:?

winginitx
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Joined: Fri Dec 25th, 2009
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 Posted: Fri Jan 1st, 2010 12:38 am
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Hi Jrock - Congratulations!!!  Of equal import is that you can see that there is a relationship between frequent porn use and your attraction to your wife.  When your wife becomes the sole source of amorous thoughts and actions, you become very attracted to her.

A couple of things: First, figure out your "clock."  Guys know that when they have sex with their wives, their lust, anger, anxiety clock resets to zero.  We know that by how everything seems so much right after sex.  It has a healing aspect to it - among other things.  With me, I know it is about every three or four days.  Using that, I am sooo less encouraged to flirt with danger and feel much less 'need' to look at porn.

Also, your wife will notice a big difference in you and the attraction to her.  Some naive married folks say, great!  But the reality is, she may have gotten use to the infrequent attraction and her heart may have hardened a bit.  What seems like a pleasant novelty may start to seem like a pleasant burden after a short while.  Clue her in to whats going on.  She is the sole source of your amorous affection and you have to give some warning and time to adjust.

 


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