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| Moderated by: truthseeker, bil4913 |
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| Need an accountability partner. | Rate Topic |
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| Posted: Sat Jul 2nd, 2011 03:01 pm |
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1st Post |
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LookingForHelp Member
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Hello, everyone. First, let me explain just a little. I love my faith. However, sexual addiction is something that I've been struggling with for years. I know it's wrong, but I just decide to do it anyway. Then, I end up feeling terrible - I bow down on my bedroom floor, say many prayers and ask for mercy. Then, I just turn around and do it again, fully knowing that it's wrong. I've never given in to the point of actually having sex with someone - I'm actually still a virgin, but I view porn and do things by myself. I've tried to quit by sheer willpower, but the longest I've ever gone is four or five months. Usually, it's no more than a week after I pray and ask God for help before I'm doing it again. I think about doing it, then I can feel the physiological change in me, which makes me desire it again. It's odd, though, because deep down, I really do love my faith, and what I'm REALLY looking for in life isn't sex - I want a real relationship with someone (which I haven't been in fo 6 years, so I'm very lonely nowadays), and sometimes I convince myself that sexual pleasure is a viable alternative. I guess that's just one of the lures of the devil. So, what I'm getting at, here, is that I would really like some encouragement, and an accountability partner. I'm new to this site, and I don't know how things are normally done, but if someone could offer some advice, or a partnership, I would greatly appreciate it. My prayers go out to everyone on this site. I really hope that I can overcome this.
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| Posted: Sat Jul 2nd, 2011 11:36 pm |
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2nd Post |
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TM2 Member
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LFH, Welcome! I'm not the right choice for an accountability partner, but I really relate to your description of acting out, repenting in prayer, and acting out again a few days or weeks or months later. I think we need more than just accountability. I think we need help both from fellows addicts in support groups, 12-step or otherwise, and from professional counselors. These can help us step away from the isolation of addiction and to work on underlying issues that support the whole addictive structure of our lives. For those reasons, I also think the best possible forms of support come not at a distance over the computer, but from people we can really meet face-to-face. And I think those people need to be people who really get how addiction works, which our families often do not. (To be clear, this is not an argument for being dishonest with our families; it is an argument against expecting our families to be our sole source of support.) I realize all that may sound scary, and that the path of moderation and serenity begins by accepting that we have to begin with baby steps, doing each day what we can do that day. Are there local sources of support available, though, like local support groups? Tim M.
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| Posted: Thu Jul 7th, 2011 01:34 am |
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3rd Post |
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LookingForHelp Member
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Well, I don't know that there are any places around here. And honestly, I don't think I could face my family if I ever told them about this. I just don't think they'd understand, and I think they'd be horrified. I really don't know what to do.
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| Posted: Thu Jul 7th, 2011 01:35 am |
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4th Post |
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LookingForHelp Member
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Thank you, though, for taking the time to respond! It is very much appreciated!
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| Posted: Thu Jul 7th, 2011 02:01 am |
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5th Post |
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TM2 Member
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The obvious places to look for groups are http://saa-recovery.org/ http://slaafws.org/ http://sa.org/ http://sca-recovery.org/ which list face-to-face, phone, chat, and Skype meetings. There are often Christian meetings at churches that are not on these lists. It's surprising what one can say. Tim M.
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