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| Moderated by: truthseeker, bil4913 | Page:   1 2 |
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| Daily-ish Update | Rate Topic |
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| Posted: Wed Sep 21st, 2011 09:52 pm |
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21st Post |
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2bfree59 Member
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Glad to hear u guys are doing well. I need to confess I fell today. Same old routine, thoughts then porn and mb. It's so hard to ask God for forgiveness when it's the same old sin. Would appreciate ur prayers. Praying for u guys. God bless and strengthen us.
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| Posted: Thu Sep 22nd, 2011 12:57 pm |
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22nd Post |
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Free Member 
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I’m praying for you 2bfree59. Actually just got finished saying a prayer for you. God will deliver you through this addiction. If you don’t mind if I ask, what do you think caused the temptation? How were you feeling before? I guess I have learned that identifying these triggers are key to fighting in the future. This addiction is so subtle and treacherous that it plays off of bad emotions that we have. I have found that when I’m angry and stressed about whatever circumstances I might be facing that’s when I seem to be most tempted. That actually seems to be the time that Satan likes to attack us the most. It reminds me of when Jesus was tempted. He was physically weak after fasting for 40 days and obviously hungry. Satan tempted him with what he yearned for in the moment. I have a story to share a little later but I have to get to work. Hope everyone has a blessed day. Free Last edited on Thu Sep 22nd, 2011 12:58 pm by Free |
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| Posted: Thu Sep 22nd, 2011 07:22 pm |
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23rd Post |
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2bfree59 Member
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Free, thanks for your prayers and reply back. I was at work doing my job, when one of those "arrows" came. It was tempting but I fought it off. They kept coming and each time I entertained them a little more. I finally grow weary of fighting and give in. My emotions though were normal, no anger or nothing. I feel down a lot due to shame and guilt. Today it happen again but the Lord brought a verse to mind and I kept saying it in my mind and experienced victory. Praise be to God. But anger and feeling good are times when I have to be on guard. Thanks again and looking forward to hearing your story. God bless you guys and praying for you
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| Posted: Fri Sep 23rd, 2011 03:27 pm |
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24th Post |
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Free Member
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Hey guys, today has been a really trying day since my car got broken into and they stole everything valuable that I had in there. Its just amazing how one trial seems to end and then ends just in time for the next one to start. I'm trying my hardest not to lose faith. There has been so many situations where I wanted to blame God. I question that if he loves me so much then why all of these extraordinary trials. It just seems like nothing I do pleases Him enough to just leave me alone. And when I say leave me alone I mean just stop allowing these freakish situations to keep occurring time after time. My air conditioning fails on my car at the beginning of the summer (not the best time of the year). I didn't have the money to get it fixed at the time so I had to endure it for a few months. I was finally able to get it fixed and had to pay a good sum of money to do that. Then I take my girlfriend down to an amusement park and after dropping her off I stop at a restaurant and park my car in a small lot down the street. I come back and my car has been broken into and they steal my iPod and a few other things. I buy a new iPod and a few other things to replace what had been stolen. Then a few weeks later one of my tires starts treading to the point where a part of it is hitting up against the wheel casing and I'm on a trip to my parents three hours away and its really late in the evening. I go home and buy a couple new tires and put more money into my car. Then on the way back home I have a freak accident with my car to where I had to buy a new engine to fix. So I put all this money into a car that I can't even drive unless I buy a new engine. I had to take a day off work to sort it out and ended up buying a used car with cash. Which I did not have the money for. Well not to use for that at least. A few days later my battery dies on that car and I have to get it towed and jumped from here to there just to get around. Then just last night my car gets broken into and they steal everything inside including my GPS, my new iPod, my gym bag that had some valuables in there, and a bunch of other stuff, like a few pairs of shoes, etc. My parents are going through a divorce because my dad is carrying on this strange emotional affair with some woman from his country of origin. My roommate sucks and my place has had a rodent problem for the past few months. And that is just naming the major stuff. There are countless other smaller situations that seem to fill my day with unwanted and unnecessary trials. Its such a trying time in life and its a lot of circumstances that are beyond my control. It led to tears this morning. After I looked in my car and noticed what happened I just slumped over my car door and cried. I couldn't even hold it in any longer. I don't know what to pray for any more. Maybe once I calm down then I will be more logical and reasonable. I'm just so pissed at everything for now. Still these horrible circumstances will not make me act out. I commit to staying sober. My plan is to try to calm down and hopefully clear my head a little. Free
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| Posted: Fri Sep 23rd, 2011 08:56 pm |
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25th Post |
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guitarist63 Member
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Hi Free, I am really sorry to hear about your run of troubles. You do clearly have a lot of them and a lot focusing on your car. I have never had a car so that situation has never been my experience. A lot of crap happens in this world and nine tenths of it or more are all because Eve and Adam decided to disobey God and take a bite when they shouldn't have. The world's been reeling from the shock of that ever since.
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| Posted: Sat Sep 24th, 2011 12:32 am |
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26th Post |
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truthseeker Administrator 
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Hi Free, I, too, am sorry to hear of your trials. It would make life easier if becoming a believer meant that God would always protect us from others' misuse of their free will, but would we be choosing Christ for what He did for us on the cross, or in anticipation of living on easy street? TruthSeeker
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| Posted: Mon Sep 26th, 2011 09:28 pm |
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27th Post |
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Free Member
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Thanks so much for the encouragement truthseeker & guitarist63. I have come to the realization that even though my circumstances have not really changed that I can still have a good attitude. That is something that I do have control over. The same old urges have been hitting me really hard this past weekend. Has anyone else ever struggled with having stronger urges toward the end of the month? Its always seems to be time that my cravings are at its peak. Today I thought that I would expose the promises that this addiction constantly tell me: 1) There will be no change in how I feel afterwards. It always seems to lie and say I can get over a slip very easily and not face emotional consequences. When in reality afterward I feel depressed, isolated, anxious, and perverted. 2) That all my fantansies will be fulfilled. This is such a lie because there always seems to be a "gloss" over the temptation when in reality the process is pleasurable physically for a moment and then afterward even more painful then I could imagine. And its a craving that will want to be fulfilled later on. It is a cycle that will only be broken through resistance. 3) That people around me won't be affected. Everyone around me may not be affected but some will. I know that I feel such a sense of guilt when I talk to my girlfriend. I would be disgusted with myself and feel unworthy. That could affect our relationship in a negative way. 4) This may sound weird but even in moments of temptation I need to remind myself that sex is not wrong. It was created to be shared between man & wife for intimacy and procreation. Its not wrong for me to have that desire, it is wrong for me to lust to fulfill that desire. I need to focus on the ways to manage that desire, ie working out, staying involved. Hope everyone on the board is well. Happy Monday. Free
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| Posted: Wed Sep 28th, 2011 03:15 am |
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28th Post |
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Free Member
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I want to be honest and accountable. Today I slipped twice at work with p/mb My plan moving forward is to strategically spend time with God every day for the next 90 days. No more bold statements that are based on feeling sorry for myself. I need my Father to help me through these times. Free
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| Posted: Wed Sep 28th, 2011 03:53 pm |
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29th Post |
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guitarist63 Member
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Free. Thank you for your admission and think your intent on 90 days is a good idea and also to leave the pity party behind. Last edited on Wed Sep 28th, 2011 03:53 pm by guitarist63 |
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| Posted: Thu Sep 29th, 2011 12:59 pm |
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30th Post |
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Free Member
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What did I learn from this slip? I learned that its nearly impossible to remain sober without a close relationship with God. Towards the latter part of my sobriety time I started to feel weary fighting the addiction. This fatigue was mostly caused by being spiritually dry. I learned that I need to know that my work space is a direct trigger and I have to set up restraints to help me stay sober. Acting out does affect my relationships. I will think of more and come back
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| Posted: Sat Oct 1st, 2011 01:20 pm |
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31st Post |
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guitarist63 Member
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Thanks free for describing how this affects you. Removing possible causes of temptation from our environments is one effective way of dealing with it. Without being daily renewed by God (I am speaking of Christians being renewed - I can't speak for those who are not), our efforts will, at best, only be partially successful in dealing with the problem. I also need to seek for closeness to God each day.
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| Posted: Sat Oct 1st, 2011 01:45 pm |
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32nd Post |
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Man Member
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Yes; Matthew 5,29-30 (NIV) talks about that: "If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. class=woj30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." Sorry for bunching you with Bible-quotes.
____________________ May the Lord bless you all! |
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| Posted: Tue Oct 4th, 2011 12:59 pm |
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33rd Post |
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Free Member
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Thanks for the feedback guys. Its really helpful to have another persons encouragement and perspective on such a self centered problem. Well I think I need to start exposing the thoughts and the cycle that has taken me for a loop many times. This morning I was bombarded with thoughts of a past experience and I was tempted to communicate with this girl. The Devil and my own flesh love to play on the fact that I do have a sexual need like all human beings. The goal with tempting me in this way is to pervert that need which leaves me feeling guilty and sinful. A second lie that I sometimes feed into is that everyone does not have the same battle that I have with this. So I need to stop comparing one persons struggle with my own. Sorry if this does not make any sense. I hope everyone has a great day today. Free
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| Posted: Wed Oct 5th, 2011 10:52 pm |
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34th Post |
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Free Member
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I think I am afraid to fail. That is why I make it to a certain point and then flop so easily. I think that I let my guard down and I allow the pressure of the daunting unknown continuous sobriety to get the best of me. I want to admit that because I think I have to ask God to for the courage to face this. I admit fear of this Lord, please give me courage and strength.
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| Posted: Wed Oct 5th, 2011 11:05 pm |
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35th Post |
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Man Member
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Free wrote:I admit fear of this Lord, please give me courage and strength. Do you also admit it to some people that is alive? (You don't need to answer of course.)
____________________ May the Lord bless you all! |
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| Posted: Wed Oct 5th, 2011 11:39 pm |
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36th Post |
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Free Member
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Hello Man, thanks for your response. Not so sure what you mean by people that are alive but if you mean accountability with face to face people then yes. All forms of accountability are helpful.
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| Posted: Thu Oct 6th, 2011 07:32 am |
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37th Post |
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Man Member
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Not necessarily accountability, but talking with real people. Best regards
____________________ May the Lord bless you all! |
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