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jjules
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Posted: Mon Dec 14th, 2009 01:21 am |
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Hi. I have been here on and off for the last 2 yrs. My husband visited prositutes and had porn addiction for last 12 yrs of our r'ship. He confessed voluntarily and has been 'sober' 2 yrs. I decided to stay with him but I told him I had to have absolute honesty. Just this week the nagging sensation that he was lying to me again resurfaced. Turns out God was trying to alert me to the fact that he has looking me in the eye and telling me lies (abt the things he has done.) Let me be honest I dont care abt the details, except that in the details and being honest I can learn to trust my husband again. That has all been shattered and everything my husband has been 'working' for in our marriage has been wiped clean like a slate. They were simple questions like - did any of the sex workers wear lingerie? Well my husband lied abt this for example because he says he doesnt want me to NOT wear lingerie for him now because I will think he wants me to look like THEM.
ok this man seems more concerned abt 'punishment' a slap on the nose with a rolled up newspaper like a bad puppy than he is with any display of love for me 
Any advice please. How do I handle this? We are discussing trial separation because I dont want to be lied to anymore. My heart has turned away from him because I am too hurt to continue this process of healing when HE isnt being 100% with me. We havent had sex in over 2 weeks and feel myself not wanting to be emotionally or physically available to him since this recent lying. I feel like he has wiped his feet al over my forgiveness. Im in psychotherapy and my therapist says on the scale of wrong my husband thinks lying is a small issue compared with the other things that I have offered him forgiveness for
Tell me from a Christian perspective, when is enough enough. Gods strength is well able to sustain me He upholds me with His Righteous right hand - yes yes. But how much of a cost to me and my children will this relationship continue to exact
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Godsgirl211
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Posted: Fri Apr 23rd, 2010 06:03 pm |
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Are you still here??? If so......... enough is enough my dear when YOU decide it is!! And that IS from a Christian view..... He broke your vows and in the instance of "adultery" God says it is OK and understandable to leave. ((Hugs))
The Bible gives two clear grounds for divorce: (1) sexual immorality (Matthew 5:32; 19:9) and (2) abandonment by an unbeliever (1 Corinthians 7:15). Even in these two instances, though, divorce is not required or even encouraged. The most that can be said is that sexual immorality and abandonment are grounds (an allowance) for divorce. Confession, forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration are always the first steps. Divorce should only be viewed as a last resort.
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joanne
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Posted: Tue May 4th, 2010 05:21 am |
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I second that comment well said!!
healing and happy! will pray 4 u
Last edited on Sat Jun 26th, 2010 02:47 pm by joanne
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Godsgirl211
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Posted: Wed May 5th, 2010 05:02 pm |
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joanne wrote: I second that comment well said!!
my husband checked porn again and tried to cover his sin by sending me an email - he titled it "ass-kissing husband".. he thought i wouldn't think he was on live porn sites while i was sleeping right beside him! oh and it was my heavenly Father that told me he was really on live porn sites at that time in the morning. God has never lied to me so i checked it out and said wow you were right again father but when i confronted my husband he denied denied denied and then moved out on me taking EVERYTHING he could including my truck and the rent money! but what my husband meant for my downfall God will use to lift me up and praise his name things are looking good. now we humans have free will, these men are not "possessed" they are making choices and we are free to make ours. listen to your Father he loves you and you are precious in his sight!
healing and happy! will pray 4 u
Isnt it interesting how God always brings these things to our attention,,,,,,,,,,? He has even given me dreams to let me know........
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jjules
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Posted: Sun Oct 9th, 2011 03:34 am |
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yes me too. i had a knowing, i just wanted to ignore it.
thankyou for your replies, i appreciate them.
well its coming out to our 4th anniversary since my husband confessed to me.
we are still together, but in what i'd call a stand-off. no emotional intimacy. im afraid and anxious alot. i beleive in Gods ability here, still wondering whats required of me. im drifting through the days, taking care of our beautiful children and throwing myself into projects that keep me stimulated and happy. but im missing a partner. i have this longing to be loved and appreciated and supported. im running on empty since my son was diagnosed with a chronic illness. my husband thinks attack is the best form of defense. he will not approach me for sex let alone intimacy (yah right) and gets angry at me when i dont initiate it because he has 'needs'. im not playing that game anymore and its angering him more and more.
i think my husband is so self focussed, he doesnt even see me. he doesnt consider my hurt and grief, and isnt really interested in rebuilding the marriage. i dont want to hold onto this marriage so badly that im going to keep giving and giving when he isnt. ive given up trying to control things and make him happy, since i realise that isnt my hole to fill.
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