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lonely1
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| Joined: | Mon Nov 9th, 2009 |
| Location: | South Carolina USA |
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Posted: Fri Jul 9th, 2010 09:55 pm |
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| So there are days and even weeks where I feel really happy and like we're making progress and things aren't as bleak as they once were but then there are other days where I feel upset, angry, etc and then there are other days where I don't necessarily feel anything good or bad just a neutral feeling...we are about 5 months into recovery, I've heard it can be anywhere from 1-3 years before things are "ok" again as you each work through your own recoveries and the marriage...so are these "normal" emotions or is this "bad" meaning it's a beginning to the marriage ending?...I'm soooooo confused sometimes!
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LindaBeans
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| Joined: | Mon Nov 16th, 2009 |
| Location: | Nuevo Leon, Mexico |
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Posted: Sat Jul 10th, 2010 12:42 am |
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I feel that way too, even when its a good day. If anything i'd say counseling and prayer will help sort out all the mix feelings out and put everything back in place.
I don't know if it will work, im about to go start seeing counselors now to see if she can help me sort out my feelings and fix me.
I have a good feeling it will help out alot. Especially if you don't have anyone to talk too.
____________________
Ask questions and live through the answers.
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truthseeker
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| Joined: | Tue May 16th, 2006 |
| Location: | New Jersey USA |
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Posted: Sat Jul 10th, 2010 01:37 pm |
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Hi L1,
Yes, this roller-coaster is completely normal. It's duration differs from couple to couple.
Praying for you...
TruthSeeker
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lonely1
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Posted: Sat Jul 10th, 2010 02:14 pm |
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Thank you both for your replies!
It is comforting to know this is normal, I want to be here with DH and work through all of this just when all these different feelings come up you wonder is it part of the normal healing process or not.
Truthseeker, thank you for the prayers I appreciate them! 
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allalone
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Posted: Fri Nov 5th, 2010 02:34 pm |
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I am in the process of reading "Your Sexually Addicted Spouse - How Partners Can Cope and Heal" written by Barbara Steffens and Marsha Means. I'm half way through and I wish I had know about this book when my husband revealed his addiction to me. With every page I turn, I say to myself "that's me".
My emotions have been on a roller coaster for months. I'm up then I'm down...the downs are very frightening. The book has taught me that I too, just like the addict, have triggers that put me through the pain all over again. It's helped me to recognize what those triggers are, which in turn, helps to keep my emotions in check. Don't get me wrong...emotions are meant to be felt. It's just that now, I'll ask myself.....Are you angry, sad, upset, devastated because something actually happened or because you saw a provocative magazine cover at the grocery store?
For me, it's all about "safety". It's not co-addiction, co-dependency or any other label that's floating around out there. It's just about me feeling safe. My husbands reveal shattered my world as I believed it was. It was a traumatic event in my life and like all traumas, people have to respond in ways that make them feel safe. It's a self protective reaction and not an attempt to control the addict.
I've actually shared some of it with my husband. I think he now has some idea of how I feel and why I act the way I sometimes do. He has his own issues of unworthiness to deal with...now he knows that my distance is about me and not another indication that he's "no good".
We have had a solid good 10 days together. It may not seem like much, but compared to what's been going on, it almost feels like a lifetime. We both are taking this day to day and don't know where our individual journeys will end.
Hope everyone has a great day!
Allalone
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