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LindaBeans
Member
| Joined: | Mon Nov 16th, 2009 |
| Location: | Nuevo Leon, Mexico |
| Posts: | 12 |
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Posted: Sat Aug 7th, 2010 05:12 am |
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I don't care how many people will tell me to leave my husband. I won't do it. One, because i love him even will all the problems, i can see pass the addiction and just see his genuine self. Im willing to fight for it because i can see more to him. I believe it's the addition thats made him think certain ways.
I started therapy or counseling. And first thing out of her mouth is to leave my husband because he's been unfaithful and because he won't get along with me or that he's so caught up in his problems that he will never look at me and see im involve in his life.
I won't leave him. But there are something i'd like to know what im allowed to do or say. I always was a believer of two sides of a story so i'd like to know "non selfishly" what im allowed to do or say.
My husbands therapy told me that he doesn't have to tell me anything if he doesn't want too. Also she says im struggling from co dependency and it is why im always on his case and being such a problem to him on top of his recovery. To be honest this sounds wrong to me but hey, shes an expert on sex addiction because she too was married to a sex addict. So maybe im just so angry on the situation or the past that i blindly always end up trying to defend my feelings that might be false in a way.
My husband has been going to steps and counseling for about a year. He's lately been going to the counseling more often, rather then the step studies.
But my question is. Do i have the right to know about his past, the full story not bits and pieces i have to put together as the years go by.
I hate the feeling that my husband keeps secrets from me. i feel im living with a stranger, afraid because i don't know what to expect. A few days ago i went to go get tested with my husband and when the guy asked me if i knew how many men and woman he's been with or his he used protection. I didn't have an answer and the guy looked at me disappointed.
I try to be involve with his recovery, i try to talk or learn about it with him, but he just won't let me in. He won't say anything to me about his recovery because it has to do with his past. So its hard for me to believe that he is doing something about it or be at peace about it.
He ask me to trust him and he tells me it hurst him because i don't but i can't fully trust that hes recovering, with all the secretsy he's keeping from me. I though as wife and husband we supposed to share everything.
I mean yeah he stop acting out with strangers but his moods and his ways are this the same from when he used to act out. Or at least it feels like it slowly coming back.
Im probably rambeling now, but i need to know from those that experience this, not by a therapist that doesn't know what this feels like. I need to know what are my rights of being married to someone who is a sex addict.
I want to help him, but not to where i'll feel like a puppet or a slave. emotionally.
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Ask questions and live through the answers.
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