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| Moderated by: truthseeker, bil4913 |
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| Dissociation | Rate Topic |
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| Posted: Fri Apr 15th, 2011 03:11 pm |
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1st Post |
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gettingthevictory Member
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I was talking to my husband the other night when I realized that he was minimizing. I knew this because of the words he chose when talking about his addiction. He said, "you act like I do this (every) time you leave the house, or every day". My response was, "well, you do". Back and forth we went in a polite respectful way, but I was not going to let this bit of reality slip by. I then asked, "what did you do on Tuesday when I was gone from home for three hours"? He said, "nothing...worked on the computer". He looked and seemed very sincere. I asked again, and requested that he think really hard about it. Still, I got a confused look and a man who truly seemed to be trying to remember. When I finally reminded him of the episode I knew about (looking at porn alongside a photo of a mutual female friend on the computer) he spaced out, then looked at his feet and said, "Oh, yeah, I guess I did, I'd forgotten" My question is then, is the fugue - hypnotic trance like state so complete that he would need to be reminded a mere two days later? Or was he lying? or perhaps a combination of both? I feel like I am dealing with a mental patient. Please explain this to me if anyone has any insight or experience with this. Thank you
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| Posted: Fri Apr 15th, 2011 06:59 pm |
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2nd Post |
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Devastated Wife Member
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You are dealing wtih a mental patient. There is a stupor that overcomes them....there is no question about that. There is also no question that their "memories" are very convenient. Who knows what was really going on. The reality is you can't trust him as far as you can throw him. Good luck.
____________________ My best, Devastated Wife |
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| Posted: Fri Apr 22nd, 2011 05:50 am |
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3rd Post |
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wanda Member
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my husband also minimizes, its so painful
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| Posted: Sat Apr 23rd, 2011 03:41 pm |
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4th Post |
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Devastated Wife Member
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They need intensive, inpatient or outpatient rehab. The private therapy did nothing. The 12-step program did nothing. Only intensive inpatient seemed to work, to a small degree, to break down some of the mental barriers to progress. My "husband" was discharged on Thursday, two days ago, from intensive outpatient rehab for alcohol. I have some handouts that explain what to look for in a relapse. I see happening already. He was not ready to be discharged, but the insurance wouldn't pay for anymore. The incredibly high relapse rate may be directly due to the insurance companies requiring discharge when the patient isn't ready. Seeing the before and after, I'm now convinced that sex addicts need rehab just like drug addicts or alcoholics. Best, DW
____________________ My best, Devastated Wife |
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| Posted: Wed May 11th, 2011 08:25 am |
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5th Post |
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wanda Member
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Its been a year since my husband last relapse and 8 weeks since i know. He was with a prostitute. This thing is so hurftul. It has brought me so very close to God i can say. My marriage from the beginning has been tainted. In all this , Its made me stronger if anyone can understand that. I see more and more my dependance on God , and not man. The trust, there isnt any. I love him. Not in that movie loving stuff way, but that God love. I know there is nothing wrong with me. i know he is not like this because of me. i know he does not go out and hurt me with intent. But i do wonder is this the thorn in my side,
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| Posted: Wed May 11th, 2011 11:10 am |
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6th Post |
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truthseeker Administrator 
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Hi Wanda, Have you read An Affair of the Mind, by Laurie Hall? When I saw the title, I thought it was just about pornography, but her husband also escalated to physical adultery. Praying for you... TruthSeeker
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| Posted: Thu Jun 23rd, 2011 11:51 pm |
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7th Post |
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wanda Member
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hi truthseeker, no but i will look into it. thank you.
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