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HealingForTheSoul
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| Joined: | Mon Mar 2nd, 2009 |
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Posted: Tue Mar 31st, 2009 02:45 am |
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Are you experiencing unwanted same-gender attractions? Do you constantly find yourself wishing you didn’t have these feelings towards members of your own gender but can’t seem to control them? Well, the good news is you’re not the only one and there is hope! Personally, I’ve dealt with these same feelings towards other guys most of my life and I know how frustrating it can be in trying to rid yourself of them and live a life that doesn’t give in to these ungodly desires. God’s word has been very encouraging to me when it says “There’s no temptation that’s seized you except what’s common to man” and “there’s no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”Orientation & Behavior versus Identity| If you would, I’d like to share a few principles and tips[/b] that have helped me in my own journey to give you some of that same hope and help. The first thing I had to realize was that these unwanted attractions and feelings don’t have to have so much power over us.[/b] I don’t have to see this as my identity because we as humans are more than just our sexuality and feelings. I don’t have to listen to the lies that say “you’re gay” or “you’re born this way.” Instead, I can just acknowledge that these feelings and attractions may amount to an orientation and that may even have crossed over into behavior at one point or another but that doesn’t change who I[/b] am as the person God created me to be. |
| [u]It’s more than just a Spiritual thing[/u][/b] |
Next, we have to realize that this is more than just a spiritual matter. The bible says in first Thessalonians 5:23 “be sanctified (or ‘cleaned up’) body, mind and spirit.” So, I had to stop thinking I could just pray this away or that by just reading my bible more or just talking to my pastor, I wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore or as much. All of these have been good and helpful solutions but I had to include more than just spiritual approaches.Physical aspects| In fact, there are things we can do for our bodies, minds and hearts that help the growth process. Physically, we need to take care of ourselves.[/b] Often we accept things into our body and life that amount to junk food. Self-care dictates that we do things like exercise regularly[/b] and plan adventurous fun[/b] that gets ourselves out of our normal routine and restores our sense of excitement and well-being. Making sure to get enough sleep[/b] and eat right with a balance of protein and carbohydrates[/b] also helps to feel balanced. Sometimes, if we’re experiencing a chemical imbalance at the brain level, we may need to consider taking things like supplements and/or herbs[/b] and if necessary, see our doctor about prescription medication to control our mood, overcome impulsivity and ease irritability[/b]—all things that left unchecked, can tend to take us in a direction we don’t want to go sexually and relationally. |
| [u]Mental/Emotional aspects[/u][/b] |
Mentally and emotionally, its important that we connect with a therapist who specializes in unwanted same-gender attractions to help expose things like unhealthy thinking and relationship patterns, family of origin issues and faulty coping methods. A good therapist can function as an advocate and a guide, helping us gain perspective and objectivity in their support and feedback as well as ideas and new things to try. In addition to a therapist, committing to a group of people from your same gender who also struggle with lust issues is vitally important. I know this can be scary but think about this: if everybody else there is struggling with the same kinds of things as you, what in reality is the likelihood that you’ll actually be judged or put down? It seems pretty low, doesn’t it? So, take the risk and give it a try. And if you don’t have a local group, try a teleconference group where you can connect over the telephone with people.Following-through| Now these tips are a start to overcoming unwanted same-gender attractions but there is certainly much more than is possible to address in this article that’s needed in order to overcome so for more information, visit us on the web at www.healingforthesoul.org[/b] where you can find help. |
Well, I trust this helps you and brings you hope! Remember, managing unwanted same-gender attractions involves thinking accurately about the nature of the problem and addressing it holistically in our bodies, minds and spirits with the help of a therapist and a group. So be strong and be persistent and don’t forget: If thousands of people in recovery like me can live in victory with God’s help and the help of other warriors, so can you, my friend!
Jayson Graves, M.MFT, husband of Susan and father of Selah, is a Christian Psychotherapist specializing in Sexual
Addictions recovery and unwanted Same-Gender Attractions. He enjoys helping his clients from both a clinical and personal frame as a person in recovery himself. He is the director of international counseling ministries Healing for the Soul (http://www.healingforthesoul.org) and The SoulHealer Foundation offering telephone therapy and his first original idea: Teleconference Recovery Groups for men and for wives in recovery worldwide. Jayson serves as Board Secretary of Exodus International.
Jayson directs the Youth track at Focus on the Family’s LoveWonOut conferences nationwide and also served for 3 years as a keynote speaker & national Program Director for New Life Ministry's Every Man's Battle intensive workshops. He’s the founder and host of The Blazing Grace Show, a weekly radio program/podcast and Host of Sky Angel network television show PurePassion, both focusing on sexual brokenness and recovery. For more information, to schedule a telephone counseling appointment or call-in as a visitor to one of our teleconference recovery groups for men or for wives, please call 719-590-7685 or email info@healingoforthesoul.org.
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Healing for the Soul is the private counseling practice of Jayson Graves, M.MFT. Specializing in sexual addictions and unwanted same gender attractions, Jayson and his team serve a local, national, and international clientèle. They use an innovative, fai
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