| Author | Post |
|---|
Devastated Wife
Member
| Joined: | Fri Jul 17th, 2009 |
| Location: | Pittsburgh |
| Posts: | 555 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |   |
|
Posted: Wed Sep 9th, 2009 11:27 am |
|
I attended my first s-anon meeting last Friday night. After attending, I realized how devastating it was for wives to be blamed for their husbands addictions. It adds insult to injury. For some, it seems like it was the final, crushing, lethal blow.
Fortunately for me, Mike Genung wrote about this tendency and before I confronted my husband, I steeled myself against the arrows of the evil one.
Mike wrote:
"...1. It’s not your fault.
You could be a 20 year old with the perfect body who gave her husband all the sex he wanted, and it still wouldn’t resolve his struggle with sex addiction. Why? Because sex addiction is his way of dealing with the emptiness, pain and loneliness in his heart. Sex doesn’t resolve a wounded heart, which means anything you may do or not do sexually isn’t the cause for his problem no matter what he says. Some guys try to take advantage of their wife’s false guilt by using “if you were only giving me more sex I wouldn’t be this way” as a smoke screen. If your husband tries to use this line on you, call him on it; never allow him to pin his choice to serve the god of lust on you.
There may be friction in your marriage, but there is conflict in every marriage, and resorting to porn or an affair won’t “fix it.” If your husband is in deep, chances are he’ll be immersed in self absorption and lust, which means he may try to do anything to avoid owning up to his responsibility. 100% of the blame for his decision to worship lust lies on his shoulders, so never allow your husband to put a guilt trip on you. You didn’t cause it, and you can’t fix it...."
Ladies, it's not your fault. You didn't cause it. You can't cure it. You can't control it. You have to let it go.
____________________
My best, Devastated Wife
|
Current time is 03:19 am | |
|
|
|
RSS