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Wilderness Voice
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Posted: Wed Feb 27th, 2008 03:00 pm |
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Dear IDJIT:
I prayed and asked God for an acronym that would turn IDJIT into something positive so that you could cling to it. He gave me: I Desire Jehovah's (Infinite, Invincible, Immortal) Truth. Translasted: I Desire Jesus.
Frankly, I think realizing that you are an idiot and a wastrel and (add your own description) is a good first step toward the humility required for a most excellent repentance and redemption by God. The part that is so frequently left out of the David and Prodigal Son stories when using them as examples of God's mercy - is the groveling, the begging and pleading, the utter humilty that is reached before these people are ready for God's Great Mercy. God resisteth the proud and gives Grace to the humble. It is also true of the two praying in the Temple. They focus on the self-righteous Pharisee feeling certain that they are not like him but fail to focus on the man beating his breast and realize that neither are they like him. They are not to the point of begging God for mercy and turning their eyes downward from Heaven. They take the part "there is now no condemnation in Christ Jesus" and leave off "for those who walk not in the flesh but after the Spirit."
Anyway, you asked if one could identify with the feeling of loosing God's Grace and the certain fearful "looking for His judgment." Yes, absolutely. I was terrified for several years that I had sinned away my day of Grace. That I had known the Truth and turned from it. And to a great extent this was true. It took a lot of repentance and purging work by God for me to be able to feel His tender Love and closeness again. I had sinned that much and for that long. I had known what the truth was and turned with a real love for the sin I was committing.
I won't repeat everything here that I've written previously. The point is that God is merciful even to the lowest of sinners. Why focus on whether or not you have any hope left? This in itself is a selfish reflection.
Get on your knees and storm the Heavens with prayer. Confess to God detail by detail the things that you have done even if it takes several days of prayer to do it. Don't expect some wonderful feeling to overwhelm you. Show your respect to God and ask Him to forgive you for the horrid, offensive way that you've treated Him. Ask for Him to give you not a love for yourself - there is nothing to love about yourself right now except for your eternal soul and the good desire toward God that He has placed in you. Thank Him for this tiny speck of Light for a desire toward the righteous of God is Light. The devils have no desire for God's truth.
Stay on your knees and thank God for all the mercies He has already bestowed upon you. How your life could have been much worse - how you have been given chance after chance to seek Him and now even one more.
Be humble and truthful with God. You will begin to feel His Love again. Tell Him that you want to be consumed with His Love and be filled with such a revolt toward sin that you never, ever, ever, will go back.
Read II Chron. 29-31 about the story of the good king Hezekiah and put it into practice. Throw everything out of your Temple that is not Godly. Go through your house and cleanse it. Get rid of the evil that surrounds you and turn not back to one shred of it. Ask God for that sharpness of conscience that can discern what is not right and stay away from it or get rid of it. But always rend your heart first.
Why waste one more second on whether or not you've gone too far? You have gone too far already. Turn back and never walk this path again. Show God that you really do love Him. Call and call and call upon God. Who knoweth if He will hear from Heaven and return and repent and leave a blessing behind Him? Stop trying to figure God out and Trust in His Goodness and Mercy. Turn away from your sins for good and show God the Love you have for Him which you have buried under the weight of the waywardness of your heart. You could hesitate forever wondering if is too late. Why give that old flesh nature one more ounce of breath when you could be spending that time in repentance?
Get an old King James bible and read the hard messages and believe them - that God is not mocked - that we sow what we reap. I remember reading in Peter about the dark vessels with eyes full of adultery who cease not from their adultery and realizing that it was me. I had eyes full of adultery. I had the end that was worse than if I'd never known the truth. But I accepted that searing sword of the Word of God in its fiery fullness and it literally cut the sin right out of my heart. How could I return again when I finally let those warnings in all their terrible fulness sear into my soul and crucify that old man?
These are hard sayings. But we need the loving correcting hand of God when we have gone so far astray.
God bless you mightily IDJIT - I think you're about to discover what seeking God with your whole heart really means.
Read my other posts in Other Topics - they will help you.
Wilderness Voice
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Wilderness Voice
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Posted: Wed Feb 27th, 2008 03:24 pm |
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One more sure-fire helpful thing: my wife and I started doing this years ago when God first turned our walk around. We felt he really gave us a weapon.
When you are tempted - overwhelmed - can't see the way out. Arrest your mind and instead of praying "God help me! God change my heart." ((which there's nothing wrong with)) but replace it instead with the ultra-powerful: "God I am failing, but please send overcoming power to my brethren who need it." "Send the strength that I so desparately need to someone who needs it more."
Any such prayers as these will do. The devil absolutely hates this. It is utterly defeating for the spirit(s) of the evil one to attack you to try to stir up evil in your mind and heart, when what you do with it is pray for others.
You'll have power over wickedness so quick you won't believe it. Keep doing it. Pray for others to have strength and comfort and protection and their deepest desires fulfilled.
"Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good."
WV
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idjit
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Posted: Fri Feb 29th, 2008 07:30 am |
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Wilderness Voice wrote: Dear IDJIT:
I prayed and asked God for an acronym that would turn IDJIT into something positive so that you could cling to it. He gave me: I Desire Jehovah's (Infinite, Invincible, Immortal) Truth. Translasted: I Desire Jesus.
Frankly, I think realizing that you are an idiot and a wastrel and (add your own description) is a good first step toward the humility required for a most excellent repentance and redemption by God. The part that is so frequently left out of the David and Prodigal Son stories when using them as examples of God's mercy - is the groveling, the begging and pleading, the utter humilty that is reached before these people are ready for God's Great Mercy. God resisteth the proud and gives Grace to the humble. It is also true of the two praying in the Temple. They focus on the self-righteous Pharisee feeling certain that they are not like him but fail to focus on the man beating his breast and realize that neither are they like him. They are not to the point of begging God for mercy and turning their eyes downward from Heaven. They take the part "there is now no condemnation in Christ Jesus" and leave off "for those who walk not in the flesh but after the Spirit."
Anyway, you asked if one could identify with the feeling of loosing God's Grace and the certain fearful "looking for His judgment." Yes, absolutely. I was terrified for several years that I had sinned away my day of Grace. That I had known the Truth and turned from it. And to a great extent this was true. It took a lot of repentance and purging work by God for me to be able to feel His tender Love and closeness again. I had sinned that much and for that long. I had known what the truth was and turned with a real love for the sin I was committing.
I won't repeat everything here that I've written previously. The point is that God is merciful even to the lowest of sinners. Why focus on whether or not you have any hope left? This in itself is a selfish reflection.
Get on your knees and storm the Heavens with prayer. Confess to God detail by detail the things that you have done even if it takes several days of prayer to do it. Don't expect some wonderful feeling to overwhelm you. Show your respect to God and ask Him to forgive you for the horrid, offensive way that you've treated Him. Ask for Him to give you not a love for yourself - there is nothing to love about yourself right now except for your eternal soul and the good desire toward God that He has placed in you. Thank Him for this tiny speck of Light for a desire toward the righteous of God is Light. The devils have no desire for God's truth.
Stay on your knees and thank God for all the mercies He has already bestowed upon you. How your life could have been much worse - how you have been given chance after chance to seek Him and now even one more.
Be humble and truthful with God. You will begin to feel His Love again. Tell Him that you want to be consumed with His Love and be filled with such a revolt toward sin that you never, ever, ever, will go back.
Read II Chron. 29-31 about the story of the good king Hezekiah and put it into practice. Throw everything out of your Temple that is not Godly. Go through your house and cleanse it. Get rid of the evil that surrounds you and turn not back to one shred of it. Ask God for that sharpness of conscience that can discern what is not right and stay away from it or get rid of it. But always rend your heart first.
Why waste one more second on whether or not you've gone too far? You have gone too far already. Turn back and never walk this path again. Show God that you really do love Him. Call and call and call upon God. Who knoweth if He will hear from Heaven and return and repent and leave a blessing behind Him? Stop trying to figure God out and Trust in His Goodness and Mercy. Turn away from your sins for good and show God the Love you have for Him which you have buried under the weight of the waywardness of your heart. You could hesitate forever wondering if is too late. Why give that old flesh nature one more ounce of breath when you could be spending that time in repentance?
Get an old King James bible and read the hard messages and believe them - that God is not mocked - that we sow what we reap. I remember reading in Peter about the dark vessels with eyes full of adultery who cease not from their adultery and realizing that it was me. I had eyes full of adultery. I had the end that was worse than if I'd never known the truth. But I accepted that searing sword of the Word of God in its fiery fullness and it literally cut the sin right out of my heart. How could I return again when I finally let those warnings in all their terrible fulness sear into my soul and crucify that old man?
These are hard sayings. But we need the loving correcting hand of God when we have gone so far astray.
God bless you mightily IDJIT - I think you're about to discover what seeking God with your whole heart really means.
Read my other posts in Other Topics - they will help you.
Wilderness Voice
Dear Wilderness Voice,
First let me say thank you to you and to the Lord for your caring and thoughtful response. I still am in shock that I am a part of such a community and that folks have been moved to reach out to me at all. Not that it's all about me, but in a way it is, and it's beautiful to see any body caring about messed up me. It is humbling and I want to be found deserving of it.
Your compiling of an acronym for me - wow. I think of it like a knitted keepsake, or a hand fashioned gift that someone I love made for me. It took thought and concern, I am touched. Thank you and I will apply it to my thoughts of my relationship with God.
Humility - I beat my breast, and lower my eyes, but I don't know if there is any true deferrence to God in this, it may just be me being comfortable in my sin and not really committing. I don't know who this man who prayed was, if he stopped sinning later, or even tried. I know that he considerred himself a sinner, and may have been "better" or "worse" than I. But I too agree that there is not a full exposition on the duties of the christian in most churches, most of the time.
I can see your insight on this is true, that wasting time considering how much slack or "hope" I have IS selfish. Yet another of my excuses designed to delay repentence. Why repent when there is no hope? What a "smokescreen" I lay for myself. Truth is, I fear, but I just can't allow myself to care. I go at my own pace and guess God will meet me when I'm close enough. I would love to be able to give my heart to someone with the evidence of my good deeds backing up my profession of love. I guess I just can't hold on to that lovin' feeling, or keep my word, or care about how anyone else feels. I didn't with my wife, with any of my family, with my friends, with God. When it stops working for me, I am OUT, emotionally anyway. No character.
Thank you for your testimony about having had tenderness with God, falling away miserably, and returning with your current devotion. There is hope. Thank God for His unfailing Love.
I have a question: I pray irregularly, but alot. I feel like every tenth thought is redirected toward God in prayer, like "Oh God, please forgive me for doing, thinking, saying that, please change me". I have never developed the habit of kneeling and praying, or praying for large lengths of time, my mind becomes distracted and then I feel guilty for not loving God, and then I doubt He'll hear me anyway and.... viscious, rediculous, stupid, stubborn, rebellious cycle. I have however, spent many, many hours pouring out my regret and sorrow to God, weeping, begging for him to take me because I clearly cannot love Him, and I have begged and pleaded and lamented, but I never surrenderred, and I don't know if I ever intended to. "I would if He would help me" was an inner theory.
I am definitely undisciplined. Actually, this is the first time ever I have ever reached out about my lust failures. Immediately after my divorce I indulged in porn 2-3 times a day, angrily, uncaringly and told my conscience out lout to kiss my grits, told God WHATEVER, I don't care, this is bull-loney. It's been a year now in uninterrupted self-indulgence, with accompanying despair, desperation, terror, ill health, dread, loneliness, and I haven't turned, even to start, till now. I'm glad I found y'all and I hope this will be the start of me listening to someone gaining a vision and a love for God, and finding the help I need to please God. I just want to care!!!!!
I think I have mostly given up, I am only here as a mosey in the right direction. Your exhortations and admonishments are good and true, but I will likely never DO most of them. I pray that God will renew me again, so that I can say with you that God's word has rended the sin from my heart.
I do not mind hard sayings at all. I have spent alot of time quaking at them, and I'm glad for any and all correction. I was realizing as I read your "open letter" what an equivocational putz I am, and how focussing on these thing in forums like this is probably not inspirational to the weak, and distracting from healing. I will work on my attitude change, focus change, and accept the fact that God is available and He is my savior. No more of this "am I saved", crap. How about "keeping my mind stayed on Him" instead. That will suffice as a solid premise upon which to rebuild my love for God.
Thank you again for your caring and inspiring post. Thank you for your prayers and blessings, back atcha. God bless you WV and keep bleating me toward the shepard :-)
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Wilderness Voice
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| Location: | Arkansas USA |
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Posted: Sun Mar 2nd, 2008 02:26 pm |
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I too have times of difficulty in concentrating on prayers. Sometimes when things are tough (this used to be filthy thoughts and desires; but anymore, other matters weigh on the mind) - all I can do is say "Jesus, I Love You" over and over again in my mind.
Also my wife and I pray "Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be - world without end. Amen," when we can't concentrate on much else. Uplifting God in this way really helps bring your spirit back up. Also the "Our Father" prayer, since as God says, He knows what we need before we ask.
But sometimes, when you need to tell God a lot and just can't concentrate, it is helpful to write it out. Written confessions are very purging. Written letters of love to God. Written requests. All these can be forms of prayer from the heart.
To help us in our prayers for others, my wife put together (with some type of photoshop program) - what we call prayer collages. They are photos of family and friends that we pray for every day. It helps us to remember who they are and have a point of focus while we're praying. For those we don't have photos of - she typed on names or names of groups.
There are so many wonderful ways to pray and have time of devotion. All of these replace the horrible, wasteful habits that we gave ourselves over to for years until you wake up and realize how much you're ruining your life and not doing anything positive for or toward God. All the time spent on appeasing the lustful appetites of the body instead of feeding Godly things into the mind. More to repent of and change.
Instead of spending hours watching negative and wicked television programs, we read spiritual materials to each other and during the winter months, one of our favorite pastimes is to work on religious-angelic or beautifully scenic jigsaw puzzles. Many can be found with spiritual messages and it is far cheaper than going to the movies for two.
Just a few suggestions for prayer life and adding positive back to a negative lifestyle.
Wilderness Voice
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junkyardboy
Member
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Posted: Sun Mar 2nd, 2008 08:06 pm |
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greetings idjit,
i posted this earlier today on another site and pray it will somehow be helpful for you.
in many ways, you and i are fellow travelers.
i am a fornicator and adulterer
my sexual immorality broke up a family and brought about church discipline.
i had fought for years against my sexual temptations and yet had secretly harbored my lusts in my heart.
i have known despair so dark i prayed God to kill me and cursed Him when He didn't.
the divisions in all my relationships became so pronounced i did not see my two daughters for 2 years and i went 8 years without contact with my mother and siblings.
when my second wife was murdered in an after hours robbery of our antique store 5 years ago the division was so extreme that my mother asked my daughter if i had been arrested yet.
God has used the past 25 years to show me His true character.
He has shown me His absolute purity, His hatred of my sin, the power of His loving rod of discipline across my back and His life changing forgiveness.
when gentiles became believers of the Way a commotion arose about what jewish traditions they had to follow.
it was determined among the apostles that the only 2 things God wanted as a testimony to His love: flee and avoid sexual immorality and do not eat meat sacrificed to idols.
i have been living proof that sexual sin is the one sin that a person commits against himself. it is the one sin that kills us a little at a time.
i do not believe that many Christians today even understand the true gospel message. i know for many, many years i didn't as i always held onto a corner of my heart for myself.
to fully understand the glory of the cross we need to see the path that Christ the man took to get there.
the road to the cross, He showed us, is summed up in 4 words.
"not my will, but Thine."
all other sins, including adultery, fornications and yes, even homosexuality are manifestations of the rebellion of our will against God.
that surrender of our will takes place daily.
not for our salvation but for us to experience and know the fellowship with the Father that He has promised us.
it is a fellowship that brings about hope and healing.
it is a fellowship that comes from the peace of a clear conscience because we have been washed clean by the blood of the Lamb and He remembers our sins no more.
i truly believe that psychologically i have been brought back from the very gates of hell. it has taught me the true depths of God's love for each of our souls.
He has shown me the true cost of my redemption and restored unto me the joy of His salvation.
i pray that it is a joy you too will find.
i wish i could offer you the promise that the road ahead is quick and easy.
just as in the physical world the greater the injury, the longer and more painful the healing.
if you wish to talk privately i would be blessed by your email.
peter
____________________
have we been abandoned by God?
http://www.apprising.org/archives/2006/11/dr_john_macarth.html
http://www.valleybible.net/position_papers.php
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