| Author | Post |
|---|
newcreation
Member
| Joined: | Sun Nov 1st, 2009 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 2 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |  |
|
Posted: Mon Nov 9th, 2009 09:04 pm |
|
Hello all, I just joined recently and was hoping for some advice. Here's my story:
I'm 21 years old. I grew up in a Christian home and have considered myself to be a dedicated Christian for most of my life. As far back as I can remember, from the time I was 7 or 8, I have been into bondage and submission. I remember tying myself up and roleplaying with legos when I was very young. I knew nothing of sex until I was over 12 and knew very little about it until I was much older.
I often fantasized about being tied up or being a slave or in bondage of some sort and never really thought much of it until I got older and just figured there was something wrong with me. I didn't understand why I had those desires and cravings and never knew it had any kind of sexual connection until I was about 17 or 18 when I did a google search and it nearly gave me a heart attack when I saw entries for bdsm and it really scared me.
I had been thinking about it almost my whole life and never realized it was something real. I can, even now, only assume that it was something that I was born with.
It has only been in the last year or so that it has taken on the sexual connotation of me desiring it from a woman and wanting to look at tied up women on the internet. Even still, I don't ever look at naked women, it really bothers me, but I really get turned on by seeing them tied up and even more so of the idea of them tying me up.
The only way to take away the craving is by masturbation. If I do it once every night, it keeps it pretty calm, though I know the bondage desires are still there, it keeps me from looking at porn(softcore). If I go a few days, however, really trying not to do it, I fall really hard for several days and find the cravings uncontrollable and dominating my thoughtlife until I have gone several days of masturbating again each night for them to settle down.
I'm sorry that was so long but I wanted everyone to know where I'm coming from. I really need some advice on whether it is best for me to continue masturbating each night just as a way of "cleansing" my body or if there's something wrong with me or what the deal is...
Thanks in advance.
|
truthseeker
Administrator
| Joined: | Tue May 16th, 2006 |
| Location: | New Jersey USA |
| Posts: | 1322 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |   |
|
Posted: Tue Nov 10th, 2009 12:43 am |
|
Hi Newcreation,
If you have not already read this article from the homepage, I highly recommend it.
http://www.blazinggrace.org/cms/bg/masturbation
Yes, we are all born with original sin, but I do not believe that Scripture teaches that we are born with any unavoidable predisposition toward a particular sin. God gave husbands and wives sexual intimacy to cement a powerful, loving bond between them on physical, mental, and spiritual levels, and there is no indication that violence would ever have any part in that.
If there is any way for you to be able to meet with a Christian counselor who has experience working with people who are struggling with fantasy and masturbation, I urge you to do so.
Even if your interest started as a common cops and robbers or other adventure-like game, it sounds like it has mushroomed out of control, with a destructive association to an act that God intended to be full of love and beauty.
You might also check out the courses at
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com
I think you are wise to have recognized this at such a young age. Hopefully it will spare you and your future wife much heartache.
TruthSeeker
|
newcreation
Member
| Joined: | Sun Nov 1st, 2009 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 2 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Wed Nov 11th, 2009 01:54 am |
|
I agree that violence should not be a part of marriage. Most of the time, it involves being tied up, blindfolded, or maybe spanking between two loving, consensual people. In response to what you said about cops and robbers, that's what makes it so difficult, it didn't start out that way. I liked it from the very beginning. I would create adventures only to have myself get captured because I liked it, not because it fit in with my adventure and led to my liking it. I really can't remember a time where I didn't enjoy it.
I really appreciate the link you sent me. It's an awesome site and I'm on day 2 of the program and enjoying what I've learned so far and the hope it's given me. Thanks for posting it.
|
Current time is 04:20 am | |
|
|
|
RSS