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Keith7
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| Joined: | Mon Jan 25th, 2010 |
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Posted: Tue Feb 2nd, 2010 07:57 pm |
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| One of the things I struggle most with is the battle in my mind. I often get images that come into my mind, and that is where the self destructive cycle often begins - images coming into my mind over and over again, and wanting to go online and find these images - we all know what happens from there. Sometimes, I might have these kinds of thoughts and images for the whole day, before finally giving into the temptation at night before I go to bed. Can anyone provide insight to winning the battle that goes on in your mind?
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TM2
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| Location: | Rural Midwest, USA |
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Posted: Fri Feb 5th, 2010 12:41 am |
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First of all, I think it's important to look again at the metaphor of a battle. If I am fighting, whom am I fighting? Only myself. So energy put into fighting does two things: it empowers my enemy (myself), and it divides me against myself, injuring me and tearing me into two warring pieces. In short, it strengthens my addiction. This is my understanding of powerlessness - I am powerless against my addiction because the very act of exerting power against my addiction only strengthens the division of my self, and because the power of the struggle makes my adversary stronger. So my experience is that if I'm in a fight, then it's a fight I'll eventually lose.
So how might one deal with the images without making it a fight? I think of the process as one of stepping aside from the images; detaching and letting them pass by. Rather than resist the image, I turn from the Christ. I remind myself in prayer that I have committed to do what God would have me do, and I ask to know what that task is for this minute. Then I ask Him to take this temptation, over which I have no power, in order to allow me to do what I am called to do. Then, having turned it over, I let it go.
I may need to do that repeatedly. Prayers of gratitude for the blessings of recovery are also important to me.
There is the inner attitude, but there's a lot more. Picking up the phone and calling another addict can be important to me. Going to a meeting and sharing, either face-to-face or online, can make a world of difference. That, too, is a process of letting go - letting go secrecy and shame. I don't know how to explain how verbalizing the temptation can release the temptation, but it's a common experience.
It's also important to me to try to understand where the temptation is coming from. What are the underlying feelings driving the need to hide in addiction? For me, there are a bunch of common triggering patterns - frustration at home, the stress of having a project due and too little time in which to complete it well, which sets up a wave of inadequacy and a need to escape into the safe comfort of porn, unpleasant work needing to be done, etc. If I can find the real feeling, then I can feel that feeling and work with it, rather than covering it over in addiction.
That process of living mindfully and feeling what needs to be felt is really important. By the time I'm actually fighting a wave of images, it's very late in the game. With all the tools above, it's often possible to let go and to keep sober, but I haven't always managed that. It's much easier if one can feel the beginnings of the cycle - resentment or fear or shame or loneliness or stress or whatever it is - much earlier. The sooner one is aware of a budding problem, the easier it is to do the right thing. So a thing one should always ask in a slip is, "What is the earliest time I can see that slip coming? What was I feeling then? What was I feeling before then, when the cycle was first being set in motion? What will I do the next time I feel that way?" The farther back one can rewind the tape, the earlier the point at which one can identify a dangerous pattern, the more control one has over the outcome. So to me, acting way before the images are there is a very important tool.
That's a few things I do. It's a huge topic, and there are many more tools. Take what you need and leave the rest, as we say in the trade.
Tim M.
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a4givn1
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Posted: Sat Feb 6th, 2010 11:58 am |
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War in the mind.. great question.. I read the response and it sound a little confusing.
so any way I struggle with issues and have for awhile.
New information learning what to ask.
Metanoia - greek for repentance. is 1. a gift 2. a process
so I ask for gift of repentace and then do what I know is right at the time.
I know that feeling guilty is of no use. I just know that my thinking on this is not
totally renewed.
So keep on asking and seeking and doing what comes next that is good for me.
Thank him for revealing my weakness and exposing me to need for him here.
I have had a reasonable season of purity 2 weeks or so but as soon as I started
to boast on how well I was doing -- barage and fell. So ... there it is..
I find myself all over the net looking at recovery stuff and here posting in the forum.
We agree together brother that God is able and willing.. And he WILL heal us.
so when those thoughts attack we know they are sick and death and we always
always spit them out and never grab any part of it.. Like asking you to drink gasoline.
nothing in you would go for it. Obviously not there yet though..
Thanks for reading ..
John K.
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jaybaines30
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Posted: Mon Feb 8th, 2010 12:33 am |
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| Battle? If battling your mind could get you what you want. I would be 7 ft tall, all muscular, nice hair, 6 pack abs, etc. If you want to overcome addiction here is what you will get batteling your mind, you will most likely lose or winning will bring you suffering. for more info check out webpage http://www.addictioncontrol.blogspot.com
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InnerGold
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Posted: Mon Feb 8th, 2010 08:32 pm |
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The mind battle is the greatest struggle we all face, even if it is not with pornography. Learning to manage our thoughts and keep them focused is something that takes time and continuous practice. Something we have found to help in learning this process and also learning to manage addictive behaviors is meditation. We use a simple meditation process in the InnerGold system but this is the basics of it. Find a scripture or a passage that is of good length, this is one of the passages we like to use:
" Matthew 11:28-30
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden,
and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you,
and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart:
and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Sit in a quite place and focus on this passage, read it and memorize it and then repeat it in your mind over and over. You will find that your mind starts to wander, just bring it back and refocus.
DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT, get upset with yourself because your mind wanders, this is part of training. It will wander and you are training it so you can have more control.
This is the basic principle and the core reason for this is to give your prefrontal cortex additional strength. You can learn more about the two-part brain and how the addiction effects the brain here: http://innergold.com/pptVideo.cfm or you can watch it on YouTube: http://youtube.com/innergold1000
____________________
Changing the World One Person at a Time - Gain hope, confidence and long-term sobriety. http://innergold.com
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