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Pats
Member
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Posted: Tue Nov 24th, 2009 02:08 pm |
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I don't know if it helps or is important to other to know where I've been on this path. I am married to a man who molested my daughter and is now in prison.
Since our separation, my addictions have grown frighteningly worse, but this is not where they began.
It all began in preschool when I was sexually abused.
Since then, at the early age of about 10, I masturbated for the first time, not even having any idea that it might be wrong to do so. I also found myself attracted to strange things and other women as well as men.
Since then, I have been in and out of the lifestyle of a swinger and have cyber sex issues very badly. It is also very difficult not to lust and flirt after men and women.
I have to get going for the morning, will post more as I can. All input is appreciated, and prayers of course.
Sincerely,
Patsy
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TM2
Member
| Joined: | Thu Jan 8th, 2009 |
| Location: | Rural Midwest, USA |
| Posts: | 473 |
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Posted: Tue Nov 24th, 2009 04:31 pm |
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Welcome! Thanks for the great honesty in the back story.
This board has very few members at the moment, though we seem to be growing very slowly at the moment. One other resource that might be helpful to you is the online SLAA meetings described at http://slaaonline.org/ and http://internationalslaaonline.org/ . Unlike a lot of Internet resources, these meetings are roughly 50% female and include a lot of people whose bottom line behaviors are not limited to pornography. There are also meetings on the same IRC servers for abuse survivors, about which I don't know anything from direct experience, but the folks in the SLAA rooms should have some info.
The SLAA rooms there are where I started my own recovery. There's a constant flow of new folks, but there are also some people there with very deep recovery. It's possible to find a sponsor online and to start working the steps if there aren't local meetings in your area, or meetings at which you're comfortable.
In Central AZ, there are a number of SLAA meetings, some women only:
http://www.slaa-arizona.org/ .
SAA also has a ton of meetings in AZ, a few of them explicitly for women:
http://saa-recovery.org/Meetings/UnitedStates/meeting.php?state=AZ .
SA doesn't publicize local meetings, but does have a phone number:
http://www.sa-arizona.org/ .
Finally, this is pricy, but one of the premier centers for sexual addiction recovery is in Scottsdale:
http://www.themeadows.org/
Just a few possible starting points, of course.
Tim M.
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Pats
Member
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Posted: Tue Nov 24th, 2009 05:18 pm |
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That was remarkably helpful in my search for healing and help. Thanks so much, Tim.
I have belonged to many forums big and small, and I don't care what size place the help comes from as long as it's good help to glorify the Lord. Thanks a lot. I'll be back. 
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timeforchange
Member
| Joined: | Sat Oct 31st, 2009 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 7 |
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Posted: Tue Nov 24th, 2009 09:10 pm |
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I hear your story and I will pray for you. Always believe you will get through this and will become a different, better person on the other side. Ask God to change you into what He wants you to be, and make sure to recognize the difference between self-respect and self-gratification.
I feel kinda hypocritical giving this advice because I just failed today myself. Thankfully, God's grace and love are independent of our horrible sins. Praise Him for that. Also, our behavior is always independent of our addictive thoughts and feelings, whether we can sense that or not.
Finally, see if you can listen to uplifting music when you can. This isn't to make you feel better about yourself and overlook the sins you've committed, or just to be a pick-me-up. It's to reaffirm your conviction in the Lord, and to encourage you that there is always a way out. U2 is a band I find very comforting and listening to them leaves me hopeful about the future. Gospel choirs or intimate Christian rock songs are effective also.
Keep believing in God, no matter what anyone else says.
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