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Dan79
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Posted: Tue Aug 17th, 2010 06:14 am |
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I'm 30 years old, I live in Korea, I'm single, and I've been into porn for 15 years now? Damn, that's half my life. I've been trying to quit for a long time, ever since my relationship with Christ grew closer. The longest I've been sober is a month. And now, I have very little hope. I can't even picture myself being free permanently. Of course I'll keep fighting, as long as I'm a believer, but I feel like it'll be a fight that I'll lose more often than not - till I die.
I have a close brother in Christ who I share everything with. But I'm the one who struggles to fight more than he. And there's no accountability anywhere. No groups. No counselors. No mentors. No programs. Everyone is in to porn. Porn is so accepted in our society, even among Christians.
Some times I tell myself that the problem will go away when I get married. But that doesn't seem to be the case when I read in this forum. I feel like in order for me to be free, the pleasure and excitement that pornography brings need to be replaced with something else. I don't know what. Sex with the wife? I don't know. I don't know if I have underlying psychological problems. I had a fairly happy childhood, and my relationship with my parents is good. Whatever needs that my father failed to meet for his son, I believe I've forgiven him for.
Somebody tell me that this fight is winnable. Please!
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truthseeker
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Posted: Tue Aug 17th, 2010 06:47 am |
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Hi Dan,
Welcome. You might try a search of these forums for "online meetings" which will lead you to links for them. Also, have you tried the course at
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com
Praying for you...
TruthSeeker
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Devastated Wife
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Posted: Tue Aug 17th, 2010 12:54 pm |
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Dear Dan,
My husband has told me that he thought his need for porn would subside when we were married. Unfortunately, that was not the case. I married him not having any idea that he was addicted to porn. He brought hardcore print media porn into our apartment before our first anniversary. I did not know what was wrong, but I wanted to leave him on our first anniversary. I was trying to figure out how to get out when I found out I was pregnant. I stayed in the marriage because I felt trapped. The porn addiction impacted every facet of the marital relationship.
You have to deal with the addiction regardless of whether you marry or not.
You have to tell your future wife about your struggles BEFORE marriage.
I'll be praying for your.
My best, DW
____________________
My best, Devastated Wife
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TM2
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| Joined: | Thu Jan 8th, 2009 |
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Posted: Tue Aug 17th, 2010 03:33 pm |
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I've come up with one SA meeting in Seoul. http://sa.org/top/South%20Korea/ It's possible that there are others that don't make the Internet lists. It's certainly worth contacting that meeting and seeing what other resources the people there may know about.
If you're up to it, you could look into starting your own meeting. Lots of the early AA meetings originated in this way. Both SAA (http://sexaa.org/ ) and SLAA (http://slaafws.org/ ) have lots of resources for doing this. SA (http://sa.org/ ) may as well. SLAA also has a page at http://www.slaafws.org/node/270 on beginning recovery where no meetings exist. All the S fellowships have online and phone and Skype meetings. I started out recovery at the SLAA chat meetings at http://slaaonline.org/ and http://internationalslaaonline.org/ . The other fellowships also have meetings on the same IRC servers.
I'm sure with a bit of work you could find counselors in the States who would be willing to work with you over the phone. That's not ideal, but if it's what you're stuck with . . .
Is there hope? Absolutely. People recover from all manner of addictions every day. I've only been in recovery for about 5 years after a lifetime of addiction (I'm in my late 50s), and my own recovery has not been without its setbacks; but I know people who have been sober from this addiction for many years; and although I've suffered more than one slip, my life is radically better in every way than before I got serious about seeking help.
Welcome, and may you find a path that works for you.
Tim M.
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mike
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Posted: Tue Aug 17th, 2010 06:10 pm |
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Hi Dan -
There is a ministry in Korea that focuses on sexual addiction who Blazing Grace has partnered with in the past. They offer resources (including my book in Korean) and I believe they have access to support groups there. The name of the ministry is Wellspring; their website is:
http://www.wellspring.kr/200705/index.php
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Dan79
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Posted: Wed Aug 18th, 2010 02:41 am |
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| Thank you all. I'm going get me some help.
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bhodili73
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Posted: Wed Aug 25th, 2010 01:20 am |
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Hi Dan,
I wanted to let you know that you are not alone and that there is healing for you.
Where in Korea are you? If you're in the Seoul area, we run a Pure Desire Men's Ministry for men that are struggling with sexual addiction and bondage. Pure Desire is an incredible program that combines both Biblical and clinical methods to help bring men, women, and wives into healing. We are located at the Seoul International Baptist Church (http://www.sibckorea.org).
God has brought together a group of brothers together that all share your same struggle. We support each other with accountability, encouragement, and friendship. If you're interested, you can e-mail me at pdmen@sibckorea.org. If you're outside the Seoul area, I know of one or two other groups that may be able to help.
In Him,
Mike
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Dan79
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Posted: Mon Nov 15th, 2010 02:38 am |
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| I've gone through the 60 days Setting Captives Free course and applied the Biblical principles taught there. I've been without porn for 2 and half months now, and I feel so free and so happy and so grateful. Thanks for all the prayers. Praise God!
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truthseeker
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Posted: Mon Nov 15th, 2010 10:11 am |
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Hi Dan,
Praise God, indeed! I rejoice with you. Thanks for the update.
TruthSeeker
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TM2
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Posted: Wed Nov 17th, 2010 02:50 am |
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Excellent! Thanks so much for stopping back to share that!
Tim M.
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