I'm New and Want To Learn About SA
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CaliD
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Joined: Sun Mar 15th, 2009
Location: Illinois USA
Posts: 10
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
 Posted: Fri Mar 20th, 2009 11:09 pm
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Hi Everyone!  I am new to this forum.  I learned that my husband is a sex addict in January and the sad part is we are going through a divorce that started in December.  Things have moved along at his urging (he asked for the divorce) and through the conflict I found out he has a problem with porn and maybe escorts too.  I wouldn't have known except I thought he might be having an affair so I did some investigating.  I still don't know if he is having an affair, but I know he has a serious addiction.  I learned he was compulsively looking at porn on the internet when I wasn't around.  He had a couple of profiles on more then questionable hook up websites and portrayed himself as a single person.  I did confront him and at first he denied it and said I was wrong about it, but then after pushing and telling him I had evidence in black and white he admitted that he "is a terrible person who can't control himself".  I don't think that, I just think he is a sick person who needs help.  I do believe he can't control himself, but he has a choice about getting the help he needs and moving towards recovery.

I joined Blazing Grace after someone referred me to it.  I am here for support and knowledge.  I look forward to becoming part of the community, healing and gaining an understanding of this disease.  Thanks for reading my post.

CaliD:)



____________________
"What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise."
Oscar Wilde
john
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Joined: Fri Jan 13th, 2006
Location: Atlanta, Georgia USA
Posts: 174
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Mana: 
 Posted: Sat Mar 21st, 2009 12:32 am
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It is good to meet you, CaliD. I personally am more qualified to reach out to someone in your husband's situation. But I offer my deep apology as a husband who hurt my wife with my own sexual sin.

You are correct in that if your husband is a porn addict he is out of control, that is the nature of addiction. However you are also correct that he has a choice to seek after healing. All too often it is the case that an addict will not genuinely seek help until the pain of their circumstances eclipse the pleasure of acting out. I pray that for your husband that won't be too far down the progreesive spiral of addiction. Sexual sin will always take us further than we thought it would...

The stock advice that I give to women in your situation is to be sure you are getting the support and help you deserve. I can promise that our gracious Heavenly Father will not waste an ounce of your suffering if you surrender it to him.

CaliD
Member


Joined: Sun Mar 15th, 2009
Location: Illinois USA
Posts: 10
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
 Posted: Sat Mar 21st, 2009 07:18 pm
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Thanks for the welcome John.  I am looking forward to getting support here.  I think this is a place that will help me heal.



____________________
"What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise."
Oscar Wilde

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