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jb24
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| Joined: | Wed Apr 22nd, 2009 |
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| Posts: | 4 |
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Posted: Sat May 2nd, 2009 02:46 pm |
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Hi all. I’m a new member and am keen to be in contact with other people going through similar struggles so I’m keen to start using this board. I have been looking at internet pornography for around 5 or 6 years. I’m married and have a young daughter. Two weeks ago I told my wife for the first time what has been going on, as she’d seen something suspicious on the computer. Like some others here, I work in therapy and in the addiction field. I felt sure that I should have been able to stop using pornography with my own efforts and insight. However, it didn’t happen and I have now accepted that I need some help.
Although it has been excruciating for my wife and I, telling her has freed me up to put helpful structures in place. I have a couple of accountability partners, accountability software, and filtering software to which my wife has the password. I’ve also started the x3 pure online workshop, am about to start professional counselling, and am hoping to get to a local SAA meeting.
For me, porn was against everything I thought I believed so to continue falling by viewing it was creating a huge chasm in my soul. It drained my energy, made me more angry, led me to be deceitful and secretive. It is something of a relief to no longer struggle privately, and to no longer hold anything back from my wife. Being able to talk to a few other people (parents, counsellor, pastor, friend) is also really helpful – it gets a little easier to talk about it each time I do so.
I think that having strict structures in place cuts off access for me, and gives me some breathing space to do the deeper inner work of change at the spiritual level. Motivation or self-criticism was never enough, even though I thought it should have been. I hope to make use of the advice and experience on these forums and to offer support and encouragement to others.
JB24
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TM2
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| Joined: | Thu Jan 8th, 2009 |
| Location: | Rural Midwest, USA |
| Posts: | 473 |
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Posted: Sat May 2nd, 2009 06:18 pm |
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Welcome! Funny how that works - I bet some of your clients probably thought they could stop by themselves, too. You sound like you're doing a lot of god things. May they lead to freedom!
Nice fable in your other thread, too.
Tim M.
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