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DevastatedMom
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| Joined: | Sun Mar 30th, 2008 |
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| Posts: | 3 |
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Posted: Tue Apr 1st, 2008 04:00 pm |
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Hi. My name is Victoria and I am so lost. My whole world completely changed 4 weeks ago. I feel like I have the worst of all stories. Not only did my husband have sexual contact several times with our adopted daughter about 1.5 years ago, but he also had a two year affair with one woman and a one-time sexual encounter with another woman. This all happened in the last 2.5 years. We have been married 13 years and dated for three years before that. I knew he struggled with pornography at times, but had NO IDEA about the affair, molestation, or even the extreme fantasy and self-gratification that I now know he did almost daily. I thought we had the perfect marriage and perfect life. We are both believers, we get along awesome, laugh all the time, etc. He kept his secrets sooooo hidden from me. In talking to him now, I believe he truly is a sex addict (he has just realized this himself), and wanted so badly just to control his urges on his own. He really wanted to be the wonderful husband and father I thought he was. I really want to somehow try and save our family, if at all possible. I have always told our children that they never need to be afraid of us getting a divorce, and I know it would destroy them if we did. Their dad is already gone from their lives (he was arrested, will plead guilty, and then receive sentencing), and we have no idea right now when/if he will ever be able to come back to us. I really want to be grace in the flesh to my husband, but of course have extreme hurt and anger towards him. I want to figure everything out right now - will he ever be able to live with us again? what parent in their right minds will ever let their children come and play at our house if he is there? will we have to move away from grandparents, cousins, etc. in oder for our kids not to have to suffer daily embarrassment? There are just so many questions. Every day I have to remind myself that God has hope and a future for us. Every day I have to pray for God's grace and faith for right now. Please write with any advice, encouragement, hope, etc., that you can give me. Thanks so much.
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love&hate
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| Joined: | Mon Apr 9th, 2007 |
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Posted: Fri Apr 4th, 2008 01:39 pm |
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Hello Victoria
You sound like a truly broken woman right now and it hurts to read your story. You could say alot more i am sure. The issue with the daughter makes it more complicated. Tell me... have you spoken to any professional counsellers about this?
Sorry i have to run now and i wanted to write something.... i will be back a little later.
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