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kemiya124
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| Joined: | Tue Mar 23rd, 2010 |
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Posted: Fri Mar 26th, 2010 01:54 am |
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ok so... we've been dating for about a year and a half. we're best friends and i couldn't see my life without him. he told me a long time ago that he had a foot fetish. that's a new one on me but it's manageable. i was ok with it for a long time.. even went along with it. but.. i found out the hard way that he had an addiction with it. so.. he started seeing a counselor and we argued a lot at first.. but now we can talk about it more.
i feel that we need to talk about it.. even though it might upset me or him or i might not like what i hear at times.. but.. now he's saying that he wishes we could go back to the way things were. that he misses just playing with my feet or giving them attention. he says it's not sexual. and his counselor agrees that it might be ok for him to have that kind of 'relationship' with only me.
but.. i don't want to make things harder for him. i don't want to let him focus on my feet and then have him thinking about them all day.. i guess i'm afraid that the habit will start back up. however unintentional it may be. i don't think he would tell me if it did start up again.. i'm asking for your honest opinion on this. what do you think i should do? i take this really seriously.. i just need some advice. thank you so much..
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and i'll leave with a broken laugh and a thousand memories and not a single regret.
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mike
Administrator
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Posted: Fri Mar 26th, 2010 06:25 pm |
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What comes to my mind is that he's obsessing over a body part - when he could be focusing on a relationship (you) - that might end up in marriage. Do you ever feel like he's missing you when he's focusing on the feet? The good thing is that this has come out now.
>but.. i found out the hard way that he had an addiction with it
If it were me, I'd want to know how far his "addiction" has taken him and get into what needs to happen so that it isn't an issue in the future.
In his book Breaking Free, Russ Willingham wrote that attraction to certain body parts has specific meaning or association attached to it. There may be more going on with this than just a body part thing.
You'd be wise to deal with this now, and not wait until after marriage when it gets more stressful. That could mean insisting that he does something to deal with this so it is no longer an issue.
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