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WillWait
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Posted: Sat Jun 13th, 2009 02:18 am |
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How can I overcome this needless, evil desire? I am so proud I've been 17 days sober as of today. The urge and testicular discomfort of earlier today had completely subsided by this evening, so with the "hair trigger" seemingly gone I thought nothing of taking a quick shower. The INSTANT I began washing my privates it became fully aroused and felt ready to explode within seconds. This has been the most powerful wave of sinful lust in 17 days. I stopped immediately before anything else happened. Does this mean I've failed in resisting temptation? No semen escaped, fortunately. I really seemed to winning this battle against sinful urges most of today. Now what all of a sudden, without warning, does my body go from 0 arousal to on the verge of ejaculating within seconds? I've had such a wonderful, productive, spiritual day today. What can I do to keep this monster from rearing its ugly head? It's been such a struggle to resist masturbating for 17 days thus far. I really really don't want to lose the 17 days being sober I've struggled so hard to achive. It's been YEARS since I've been sober for 17 days. I want to build on the positive, Christain spirituality I was projecting for most of the day today. But how? How can I make it to 18 days, 19 days, and beyond to secure a purer heart and spiritual future--overcoming this ejaculatory temptation--so perhaps I can help others who are struggling? Please SOMEONE offer me some guidance to at least resisit ejaculating, better yet any masturbation, which I know has for years reduced my potential in life.
PS What if I start the lose the battle and begin touching myself? Can I save myself as long as I stop cold before any ejaculation has begun? What if some pre-cum escapes?
WillWait WillWait
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Joined: Wed Jun 10th, 2009 Location: WillWait wrote: 17 Days Without Ejaculating
PLEASE DON'T GIVE IN no matter how "desperate" you might TEMPORARILY be. I'm blessed/cursed with one of those libidos that is still virtually as powerful as when I was 18, which is over 10 years ago. I've kept hoping the sexual desire would subside at least somewhat with each passing year. So for me it's incredible achieving 17 days without ejaculating as of today! I was much more easily able to exercise my usual 4 miles this morning; it seemed almost effortless. On day 16, last evening, I was afraid of giving in. The desire was getting stronger. So before I risked wasting/losing this wonderful energy, I started swimming laps in the pool. You know what, that really helped cure the annoying arousal. I guess it's true that it you redirect that desire quickly enough, instead of giving in, you can "take care of it" by something as simple as swimming. I was skeptical that this would work, and fully expected the urge to be unbearable by later in day 16. But now it's midway thru day 17 and I'm feeling great, actually! There's some arousal, but it's actually welcome and pleasant. It's not the "I must cum now or else I'll die" trap that we've all fallen for in the past. Some say if you can make it to a certain point, the desire won't be as overwhelming as it was. Maybe I'm at that point. Time will tell.
I think this current 17 days is the furthest I've made it since March of the year I was 14! That month, I made it a full 31 days without any ejaculation. I recall accomplishing a major project installing miles of cable over a 200-acre property that March. Hmmm, wonder if I'd ever gotten that done if not for abstaining? I doubt it. Testicles are very sensitive, feel heavy and swollen, and hurt at times. What are the chances I could be doing any physical damage by going 17 days and counting without any ejaculation? I keep reading that males should ejaculate at least once every 14 days or risk prostate problems, infection, etc.
WillWait
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Joined: Wed Jun 10th, 2009 Location: WillWait wrote: 17 Days Without Ejaculating
PLEASE DON'T GIVE IN no matter how "desperate" you might TEMPORARILY be. I'm blessed/cursed with one of those libidos that is still virtually as powerful as when I was 18, which is over 10 years ago. I've kept hoping the sexual desire would subside at least somewhat with each passing year. So for me it's incredible achieving 17 days without ejaculating as of today! I was much more easily able to exercise my usual 4 miles this morning; it seemed almost effortless. On day 16, last evening, I was afraid of giving in. The desire was getting stronger. So before I risked wasting/losing this wonderful energy, I started swimming laps in the pool. You know what, that really helped cure the annoying arousal. I guess it's true that it you redirect that desire quickly enough, instead of giving in, you can "take care of it" by something as simple as swimming. I was skeptical that this would work, and fully expected the urge to be unbearable by later in day 16. But now it's midway thru day 17 and I'm feeling great, actually! There's some arousal, but it's actually welcome and pleasant. It's not the "I must cum now or else I'll die" trap that we've all fallen for in the past. Some say if you can make it to a certain point, the desire won't be as overwhelming as it was. Maybe I'm at that point. Time will tell.
I think this current 17 days is the furthest I've made it since March of the year I was 14! That month, I made it a full 31 days without any ejaculation. I recall accomplishing a major project installing miles of cable over a 200-acre property that March. Hmmm, wonder if I'd ever gotten that done if not for abstaining? I doubt it.
How can I overcome this needless, evil desire? The urge and testicular discomfort had completely subsided by this evening, so with the "hair trigger" seemingly gone I thought nothing of taking a quick shower. The INSTANT I began washing my privates it became fully aroused and felt ready to explode within seconds. This has been the most powerful wave of sinful lust in 17 days. I stopped immediately before anything else happened. Does this mean I've failed in resisting temptation? No semen escaped, fortunately. I really seemed to winning this battle against sinful urges most of today. Now what all of a sudden, without warning, does my body go from 0 arousal to on the verge of ejaculating within seconds? I've had such a wonderful, productive, spiritual day today. What can I do to keep this monster from rearing its ugly head? It's been such a struggle to resist masturbating for 17 days thus far. I really really don't want to lose the 17 days being sober I've struggled so hard to achive. It's been YEARS since I've been sober for 17 days. I want to build on the positive, Christain spirituality I was projecting for most of the day today. But how? How can I make it to 18 days, 19 days, and beyond to secure a purer heart and spiritual future--overcoming this ejaculatory temptation--so perhaps I can help others who are struggling? Please SOMEONE offer me some guidance to at least resisit ejaculating, better yet any masturbation, which I know has for years reduced my potential in life.
Last edited on Fri Jun 12th, 2009 09:53 pm by WillWait
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truthseeker
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Posted: Sat Jun 13th, 2009 02:46 am |
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Hi WillWait,
As a married female, I'm afraid I don't have any understanding of your plight, or answers to your questions, but want you to know that I am praying for you.
My uninformed opinion is that as long as you do not touch yourself other than for what is absolutely necessary for hygiene, you are not indulging your lust, unless you are fantasizing.
It might be a good idea to ask your doctor if what you have heard/read about prostate health is correct or not.
Praying for you...
TruthSeeker
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WillWait
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Posted: Sat Jun 13th, 2009 04:39 am |
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Now 18 days without ejaculation
Thanks Truthseeker. Actually my urologist did say to me (six years ago) not to go more than 14 days without masturbation to completion (that results in ejaculation). However, achieving 15, 16, 17, and now 18 days without ejaculation has been such a rewarding, spiritual journey that it's seeming like any prostate gland health risk could be worth it. Maybe I can dedicate my efforts to things more highly rewarding than hours of masturbation.
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john
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Posted: Sat Jun 13th, 2009 11:53 am |
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There is no conclusive scientific evidence that masturbation/ejaculation help the prostate in any way. If you search the internet, for example, you will find an equal amount of articles and studies that are completely contradictory in this regard.
Most level-headed doctors will concede that small amounts of semen escape while urinating which eliminates any "over-supply" as well as the occasional nocturnal emissions.
That being said, I am curious about your specific preoccupation with the physical act of ejaculation. I can certainly understand it because I compulsively masturbated for most of my life.
As with you, the shower was (and can still be) a major source of temptation. I trained my body over time and repitition (years of daily masturbation or more) to achielve climax in a matter of seconds. It would seem you have done the same. I am not happy to report that this conditioning of my sexuality has had consequences in my sex life now that I am married. I wish it were otherwise and hope that will change over time.
Anyway, I want you to know that you are not alone and you aren't unique in what you are going through. I can tell you that white-knuckling it isn't the way to find freedom. I had to find things to replace my fixation on my body and sexual release. I also had to powerfully deal with the shame involved in such activity. For me, this took a few years of counseling and involvement in a mens group where I could learn about the addiction and form new, healthy relationships.
Remember, sexual addiction is not about sex. It is not about the body. It is about relational/emotional deficiencies that we learned to medicate with sex. Until we learn through our God-given gift of self-awareness what those unmet needs are and find ways to meet them legitimately, they compulsion will persist.
I hope some of this helps!
John
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WillWait
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Posted: Sat Jun 13th, 2009 01:32 pm |
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18 days sexually sober as of today! Thank you so much for your guidance, John.
My spiritual, physical and emotional life is definitely best if I avoid masturbation altogether. However, when the temptations are strong, somewhere I got the idea masturbation was OK as long as I don't ejaculate. On the surface at least, this seems like it would work. I'm not totally giving in to temptation/sin/lust by getting any sort of "release" from it. I make sure to safely stop before I'm too close to the edge. Isn't nonejaculatory masturbation better than "giving in" to complete masturbation? It's certainly less tiring, and might be helpful if it keeps me sober a few more days. At some point I'd expect that nonejaculatory masturbation might get too frustrating, perhaps even harmful to the body. But by then, hopefully I've invested enough days I can remain sober direct my energy/thought to higher pursuits.
If I always stop short of ejaculating, am I at least making some progress toward stopping altogether?
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WillWait
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Posted: Sun Jun 14th, 2009 12:03 am |
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It's been 18 days since I last ejaculated--and I honestly feel FANTASTIC this evening. Wish I'd abstained sooner!
Pretty powerful, tempting, arousal and desire last night, and also this morning that REALLY wanted to be released but I absolutely refused to waste 18 days of abstaining--and the urge went away when I attended a picnic in 90+ degree heat.
Another NICE BENEFIT: After 18 days of sexual frustration, you'd think I'd be having lustful thoughts about the many, very attractive females at the picnic I attended today. However, I didn't! Amazingly, I hardly even noticed these women. What a pleasant surprise.
So still at 18 days and holding, hopefully.
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WillWait
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Posted: Sun Jun 14th, 2009 03:22 pm |
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19 Days Without Ejaculating as of today
I feel phenomenal this morning! Perhaps the best I've felt in years. Maybe partly because I didn't really touch any more than necessary for hygiene yesterday, and not at all today. A little precum suddently appeared after taking out the trash last evening, along with a sort of minor contraction. I wasn't thinking or doing anything sexual at the time. That was strange. During the night I awoke seemingly on the verge of a "wet dream" and a pretty full bladder. It felt like if I didn't immediately get up and urinate it would explode all on its own. So I urinated, and all was fine. Went right back to sleep. Is there any correlation between full bladder and wet dream? It was full, but not bursting.
This morning, after returning from a 4-mile exercise trail, I was surprised to discover a few drops of actual semen. However, I felt nothing sexual while exercsing. No erection while exercising.
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WillWait
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Posted: Mon Jun 15th, 2009 12:38 pm |
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20 Days Without Ejaculating as of today
Maybe I've reached a milestone of sorts at 20 days? Felt pretty aroused last night, but didn't give in. It was hard to get to sleep, both literally and figuratively. This morning it was nice to awaken flaccid. "This is not so bad," I thought. A moment later the corner of the blanket barely brushed against me, resulting in everything being fully erect in an instant. Unlike past times, I'm trying to some extent to "enjoy" the arousal without giving in. So far the sexual frustration seems manageable, not overwhelming like usual. But I'm better at resisting temptation in the morning, when the urge typically isn't as powerful.
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WillWait
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Posted: Mon Jun 15th, 2009 07:30 pm |
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John and everyone,
Thanks for your input. My reasons for doing this include wasting less time and energy on sexual things, in order to focus on other areas of my life I've neglected. While it's an accomplishment to make it to 20 days without ejaculating as of today, and it seems like my frequent edging has helped me make it to 20 days--I'm starting to realize that time spent edging is still time not devoted to higher pursuits, like decluttering the house and generally getting my life in order.
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john
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Posted: Mon Jun 15th, 2009 07:35 pm |
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| This last post is the first time that you have seemed to focus on stuff other than your emissions. I am really glad to see that change! What are the top three areas of your life that you would like to work on?
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WillWait
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Posted: Tue Jun 16th, 2009 03:59 pm |
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THREE THINGS I'D REALLY LIKE TO DO:
1. Keep my possessions and home organized and decluttered. This would seem a no-brainer, yet for some reason is incredibly difficult for me. Having things disorganized ultimately creates needless stress and maybe even depression.
2. Be more productive, if possible. For example, it seems like I have to stay late to get my work done, while others somehow seemingly "effortlessly" take less time. However, I get much more done faster alone without the distractions of other people. So to add to this, I'd like to somehow not let myself be so distracted by whatever might be going on my environment to the detriment of my productivity. I can't even pack a suitcase (another thing that's tremendously difficult for me) f someone is constantly talking to me. I have to ask them to please leave me alone so I can get this packed in time to head out.
3. Get out of the house more; feel confident enough to try new things and experience more of life.
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john
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Posted: Tue Jun 16th, 2009 04:50 pm |
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| Which of these three would have the most impact on your life as a whole if you were to master it?
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WillWait
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Posted: Wed Jul 8th, 2009 10:18 pm |
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Achieved One Full Week - 7 Whole Days Without Masturbating as of 7/7/09
Happy to report I'm back on track with one week total abstinence as of July 7. Had a setback on June 30. Cute gal about 20 on my street who I've known for years sweetly asked me to help her move furniture. Already that day I was really sexually frustrated, and usually physical activity helps. So I greatly welcomed her distraction: I knew as long as I was busy moving furniture I wouldn't have the opportunity to MB. Unless I'm really clueless, I don't think she was coming on to me. I don't think she was making a pass at me. I don't think she wanted sex. I'm pretty sure she just wanted help moving furniture, which is all that we did. Unfortunately when I got home I did MB, but only once, and not at all since that evening 6/30/2009. I really hope to keep 6/30/09 as my "last time," at least for the foreseeable future.
Last edited on Fri Jul 10th, 2009 01:22 am by WillWait
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WillWait
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Posted: Wed Jul 8th, 2009 10:24 pm |
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I appreciate everyone's timely encouragement, which is likely helping prevent a relapse. 9 days as of July 9! No masturbating for me since June 30, 2009!
Temptation/arousal for most of the past couple days wasn't too bad, actually surprisingly low. "This abstaining for higher pursuits is easy," I recall thinking. As I was running errands late one afternoon the sexual frustration did become more distracting.
Once home, I turned on the computer--normally an accomplice in my stuck cycle of repeatedly wasting every ounce of my sexual energy. Fortunately the first thing I came across was a helpful post, reminding me of the self-inflicted consequences of masturbating : ejaculation usually ruins my motivation in many ways, in addition to leaving that uneasy, unpleasant "blah" feeling. Just one ejaculation won't always immediately ruin my mood. But unfortunately "only one" ejaculation inevitably leads to several in quick succession--which definitely have serious adverse effects.
Last edited on Fri Jul 10th, 2009 01:30 am by WillWait
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WillWait
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Posted: Fri Jul 10th, 2009 01:33 am |
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john wrote: Which of these three would have the most impact on your life as a whole if you were to master it?
1. Keep my possessions and home organized and decluttered. This would seem a no-brainer, yet for some reason is incredibly difficult for me. Having things disorganized ultimately creates needless stress and maybe even depression.
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WillWait
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Posted: Sun Jul 12th, 2009 05:52 am |
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12 Days w/o MB as of July 12
Day 11 yesterday was surprisingly pretty decent, much better than usual: I awoke easily, no trouble getting out of bed, and unusually energetic. Urges were not as tempting, and it was easier to focus on necessary tasks. Hopefully the worst MB withdrawal symptoms were Day 9 and Day 10.
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Echoes of Eternity
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Posted: Mon Jul 13th, 2009 11:44 am |
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Everything you know is based on what has already happened in your life. And yet, your only influence right now is over things that have not yet happened. The things that have already happened have gotten you to where you are right now. What you need to be concerned with, however, is where to go from here. Because you're so intimately familiar with your own past, it may seem that you have no choice but to continue moving in the same direction as before. But that is not true. Your future does not equal your past. Right now, there are an infinite number of paths which you can take. The one you're currently on is only one of them. Any of the rest are available to you. If you're completely satisfied with where you're going, then by all means keep on going that way. But there is no reason in the world why you have to keep following that same path if it is not bringing you full and lasting fulfillment. Every moment you have a choice, regardless of what has happened before. Choose right now to move forward, positively and confidently into your incredible future
Some of our hardest decisions in life are never easy, especially when our heart was wrapped around them. But we have to let go, move on and to realize this is the best decision to make because we have to think of ourselves in life and what we deserve. The hurt will go away with the thought of knowing the right choice made.
Author Unknown
Last edited on Sat Jul 18th, 2009 02:50 pm by Echoes of Eternity
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WillWait
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Posted: Thu Jul 16th, 2009 03:56 pm |
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16 Wonderful Days Since I Last MB on 6/30/2009
Just wanted to give some encouragement to those abstaining. Day 11 and onward is really awesome! I'm hardly bothered at all by arousal; instead easily able to focus on things I need to get done, and basically just feel great. It's much easier to jump out of bed in the morning, and I feel rested yet alert. I don't even need coffee to wake up! So rest assured once you get past the first 8 days, and especially be careful of days 9 and 10, which were particularly tempting--things are a lot better starting with Day 11. Day 14, 15, and 16 I've felt absolutely fantastic!
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Need2WashMySocks
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Posted: Thu Aug 27th, 2009 08:39 pm |
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| Post deleted. Last edited on Tue Oct 27th, 2009 11:35 am by Need2WashMySocks
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