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all4him
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| Joined: | Sun Jul 4th, 2010 |
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Posted: Wed Jul 7th, 2010 08:39 pm |
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Hello everyone.
I've not discussed this with too many people, but the overall opinion on masturbation that I get from people is that it is a help in the fight against sexual sins like pornography, lust, etc. It works as a way to relieve the stress that unmarried people have from the worldly pressures, and it is a way that people can suppress their fleshly desires. I was wondering if this has actually true or just has been made up to tolerate masturbation. I ask this because in my experience, it has often been a hindrance to my fight against other sins, leading me to turn to those other sinful acts. I'd appreciate any info on this and sorry if there has already been posts on this. I was unable to find any.
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Rom. 13:14 "But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof."
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TM2
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Posted: Wed Jul 7th, 2010 11:09 pm |
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This is a highly controversial topic, and one on which I think there are different answers for different people.
Among the many sex addicts I know, there are many who consider porn and compulsive masturbation alike to be parts of their addictive behavior. For them, either porn or masturbation puts them in an addictive cloud, and they need to avoid both. I also know people who think that their primary addiction is to masturbation, not to porn, and that porn is problematic only insofar as it leads to masturbation. Other people (I'm one of these) feel that the central problem is porn, not masturbation.
So I'd encourage you to look inside yourself, ideally with the help of a sponsor or therapist. I know what it feels like to enter the bubble and give in to porn. I don't get that feeling from masturbation. Other people's experiences differ from mine, though. For me, porn is a clear addictive bottom line, while masturbation is a middle circle activity - leading in a dangerous direction, but not itself part of my addiction. Not all of us are like me.
The common advice of the 12-step S-fellowships is that we begin by abstaining from all forms of sex for a period of time - 3 months is a common recommendation - in order to clear our minds and to discover that sex is indeed optional. I'll admit that my wife and I did not do this, but I think it's in general good advice.
All this is how it seems to me. This is, however, by no means a universal opinion.
Tim M.
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truthseeker
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Posted: Thu Jul 8th, 2010 12:17 pm |
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Hi All4Him,
This article was written by the founder of Blazing Grace.
http://www.urbansermons.org/f/wiki/myyyyy-preciousssss
I hope it provides food for thought.
TruthSeeker
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all4him
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Posted: Fri Jul 9th, 2010 06:58 am |
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Thanks for the insight guys.
After pondering this for a while, I realized that the only time I ever desired pornography was when I was either about to or was gratifying my flesh. Ever since I've been seeking to abstain from masturbation, I have noticed that the desire for pornography has been very insignificant. From my personal experience, I'd have to say that pornography would be a doorway that lets other sins come running into my heart. That's just me though.
After reading this article, I've also realized that I can find no other pro's for masturbation other than that it gives an instant satisfaction for my flesh. There is not one other thing I can find that is beneficial from it. Rom. 8:5 "For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit." Based on this, I have come to the conclusion that for me, it is a hindrance to my Christian life, and therefore, I will do whatever it takes to abstain.
____________________
Rom. 13:14 "But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof."
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withGodshelp
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Posted: Fri Jul 23rd, 2010 01:25 pm |
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o.k. I do not know how to ask this but here it is -What if you are married and your partner does not want to make love to you and you have asked and cryed and even screamed about the harm that this is doing.(there is no medical reasoning for this and yes porn has been discovered by me -he did not come and tell me-i had to find out)it has destroyed me -to think that all this time that i felt like i was not enough and still do .-that porn was wanted instead of a willing loving partner-who gave the very being to them and still they did not want you.(sorry still alot of hurt over that) anyway back to what i wanted to ask.I burn with the physiacal need of sex and I am married and I should not be put in this spot but since i am I do not know what to do at times i feel such a pull to step out side of the marriage and found the love i need at the same time i have considered masturbation to relieve myself this torture.i am very very confuseed I want a normal love life with them but since it does not seem i will have one please someone tell me bibically what i can do!!!!!!!!
thank you and please pray for me Ineed to know that their really are people who care--------------------------- withGodshelp
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bil4913
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Posted: Fri Aug 13th, 2010 04:52 pm |
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WGH, you are not alone. I'm soryy for the pain your spouse's selfish, self-centeredness causes. I don't have an easy answer for you, but would suggest checking out some of the resources at The Marriage Bed. This topic has come up there and the forum there would be able to give you support.
http://themarriagebed.com/
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