Pastors, Porn, and Recovery

by Mike Genung

This year we’ve been getting contacted from more pastors and pastor’s wives than usual. Many of the pastor’s wives who contact us have similar stories and questions as wives who are not married to pastors… “My husband is addicted to porn, but is blaming me, won’t give it up, and won’t get help.”

Then there are the senior pastors who want help, but are in a double bind. For many pastors, telling their elder board is risky because their flocks have a Pollyanna-like expectation that pastors are supposed to walk on water and don’t have the same broken flesh and struggles with sin and temptation as the rest of us. Telling their congregation or leadership board could get them fired, run out of town, and pitch-forked.

The pastors or pastor’s wives who contact us are fearful, if not terrified, of exposure; if their brokenness is exposed to their flocks, to risk of condemnation and shame is great. (We Christians are great at chewing up our own and spitting them out, aren’t we? “I like my butchered pastor well-done, please.”)

I’ve seen surveys that showed that from 30-50% of pastors are struggling with pornography. Regardless of where the true number lies, many of our shepherds need the same grace, mercy, and help that the rest of us do.

We have helped pastors and pastor’s wives, plus others with a national platform, and will never expose who you are to the general public. If you’re a pastor or pastor’s wife and have considered contacting us for help, you can rest assured that we understand your need for confidentiality (the same as everyone else who contacts us) and we will safeguard what you share with us.

For pastors and pastor’s wives, (as well as everyone else), we offer the following resources for helping you walk through recovery and healing from porn and adultery:

Our men’s eight week course. Tim Peterson, who facilitates the groups, is a pastor and counselor and can relate to the special needs of a pastor. The course can be taken with a group, or, for more personal (and confidential) attention, you can do a group of one. The website provides more information.

Wives groups. We have multiple wives groups that are run every week, or, you can speak to the group leader one on one.

Individual and Couples Counseling; over the phone and in person, with myself or Tim Peterson.

My books, which provide detailed information on the path to healing and freedom for men and wives.

Let us know how we can help you.

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