Healing a wounded marriage from porn and/or adultery is one of the most difficult, confusing, and painful journeys a couple can endure.
Many couples find tremendous help in working through these issues in a private, neutral setting, with an experienced guide.
Many factors are involved, including the length and depth of the offending spouse’s involvement with sexual sin, the couple’s communication patterns, their relationship with God, individual belief systems, the husband’s journey to freedom, the wife’s healing, their family of origin, and unresolved heart wounds.
The restoration process involves consistent effort from both sides, flexibility, humility, the willingness to change, perseverance, forgiveness, and, especially, God’s healing touch.
The goal with our marriage intensive is to help you navigate this journey, provide clarity, move toward healing, facilitate a restored relationship with your spouse, and deepen your relationship with the Lord.
During our time together, we look at rebuilding trust, boundaries, the action steps both of you need to take, helping you work through the issues that are tripping you up, working with instead of against each other, rebuilding your marriage around your God-given priorities, your relationships with the Lord, the heart issues that need to be resolved, and more.
There is no set amount of time for working with each issue; in the couples intensive we’ll spend the time that’s needed on the topics that need to be focused on. If you’re doing well in an area we won’t park there.
Mike Genung leads the marriage intensives, which are held in four sessions over two days at our office in Chandler, AZ.
You may be given assignments to work during or after the intensive. Click here for more of Mike’s story and background.
The following is the testimony of a couple who flew to our office for the two day intensive
Our experience with the two day marital intensive:
“After my husband’s week-long disclosure of his decades-long addiction to porn, I made it clear to him that we had NO idea what to do, didn’t know what not to do, and we had no plan! Where do we go from here? There was SO much to work through! I felt desperate, and my husband felt it too. My husband went online, intent on finding answers on how to move out of the darkest place we had ever stepped into. While on the Blazing Grace website, my husband saw that this website was founded by a man who “had been there,” Mike Genung. Among several levels of support from books, groups, phone calls, etc, there was also an optional two day intensive couples meeting with Mike. We knew this had to be our next move; our marriage was at a place where there was no time to waste. We needed answers NOW! My husband set up a time when we would meet Mike at his office.
So two weeks after my husband’s initial disclosure, we met with Mike Genung for the two day Intensive. When we walked into Mike’s office, we were two heavy-laden, broken-hearted people. We walked out two days later with hope and a belief that healing was possible. We understood it was a long road ahead, but there WAS a way. Now, six months later and after making remarkable progress, we sincerely believe that the two day intensive is the single greatest reason for the strides we have made towards wholeness. It was the huge jump-start we needed to get on track to rebuilding our broken marriage and our lives. If there was any way we could more strongly recommend the 2-day Couples Intensive, we would do just that! It was THAT important to us.
We experienced the following in our intensive:
- A reality check.
- Restored Hope.
- No BS. Mike called it for what it is.
- No fear of condemnation.
- We dug deeper into the root issues.
- A safe place to release deep or hidden emotions, and be real.
- Turning our confusion into clarity, and clearer thinking.
- Answers to many questions.
- A Plan to Wholeness (what to do; what not to do).
- We immediately stepped out on the road to redemption and restoration.
Mike provided us with:
- A steady hand.
- He speaks from personal experience, not theory.
- Was an empathetic listener.
- Is calm and caring, and was moved to tears while working with us several times.
- Cared for the spouse as well as the addict.
- Understands the psychological, emotional, spiritual and physical aspects of sexual addiction.
- Believed in us.
- Led us in prayer multiple times.
Getting the Most
To get the most out our time together, we ask the following:
- All disclosures by the offending party should have been made before the intensive started. This is critical because if new revelations of sexual sin are divulged during the intensive it could derail our time together.
- Both sides must be willing to do the work necessary to heal. Occasionally, the offended party may have the idea that their spouse needs to do all the work to get their marriage on track. The foundation of your marriage has been rocked, and both sides have been profoundly affected. The shaking process often exposes weaknesses, pain, or sinful habits, that, if left untended, can continue to thwart the couples healing process. It’s important for both sides to understand their need to work at rebuilding their relationship.
- During the intensive, raging, bullying, or abusive language is not allowed. It is important to express anger, hurt, and other emotions, but stepping over the line with screaming, insults, or name calling will sabotage what we’re trying to do and waste precious time. If you feel like your emotions are overpowering you, please feel free to ask for a break. Should one of you continue to be abusive in the manner described above continually, we will cease our work for that day, without recourse of the lost time.
None of this means we want you to be shut down emotionally when you’re here; these are emotionally difficult issues to work through and it’s important that everyone is able to express their feelings honestly, from the heart.
One of our goals is to work with, not against each other, and to treat each other with 1 Corinthians 13 love.
We believe that all of the Bible is God’s word, and is the standard for life and marriage.
Prayer will be a part of our time together. Once you’ve made the commitment to come, we encourage you to pray for your time here. We will be praying for you.
Both spouses are required to fill out a questionnaire. Acceptance of an appointment from our side is contingent upon review of these forms.
For more information, and to start the process, please contact us.
Our hope is that this will be a time of refreshment for the two of you, and that you’ll set aside time to enjoy our state, which offers many different recreational activities.
Photo credit for top picture: loganban