Rich Mullins was a well-known Christian recording artist who penned songs like Awesome God, Sometimes by Step, and Sing Your Praise to the Lord, among others.
During one of Mullins’ last concerts before he was killed in a tragic car accident in 1997, he shared his struggles with the temptation to watch pornography, among others. I appreciated Mullins’ transparency because it is rare when someone in the public eye confesses their weaknesses, especially when it comes to lust and pornography. Too many put on a squeaky clean Christian front that runs against the grain of Christian life that involves hard battles against sin and temptation, some of which we don’t always win.
In this video, Mullins shared how he wrote the song Hold Me Jesus after one night of battling with the pull to lust. The lyrics include these words:
Surrender don’t come natural to me
I’d rather fight You for something
I don’t really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I’ve beat my head against so many walls
Now I’m falling down, I’m falling on my knees
Mullins captures what I remember feeling so many times, when I would go after another porn binge even while I was feeling like I didn’t want it.
Here’s the video: